Goodbye, Good Riddance

I'm so happy to be saying goodbye to 2008. Since August I have been keeping a password protected blog and plan on keep blogging in it through 2009. If you'd like to read my new blog, email me at tikiflame at gmail dot com and I will happily send you an invite.

4 Months, 4 Videos

Sia - Soon We'll be Found (This song just totally fits my life right now and the music video is especially beautiful)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ofkomz-91yc

Sia - The Girl You Lost to Cocaine (I've been totally loving Sia lately (her lyrics are perfect for my life). And this video is amazing to watch to see her sing live)


Menomena - Rotten Hell (Menomena is a small little indie band that I can not get enough of. I have like 5 favorite songs off this CD. This video is especially amazing. Plus I wont deny that parts of my life haven't been rotten hell lately)


Lykke Li - Little Bit (It's fun, it's upbeat, and it's hopeful. I'm hoping that 2009 brings me just a little bit)
Little Bit

3 Months Later

Last night I made homemade beer (a Canadian Ale) as well as a few playlists for my iPhone. I originally decided to begin a short playlist to commemorate the past 3 months since things began changing for me but that list quickly grew to 35 songs. Life's been busy for me. Below the 3 songs that I think pretty much sum up the playlist.

Electric Feel by MGMT - Are you listening to MGMT yet? If not you really need to be. This song deserves to be on every baby makin' playlist that you ever create.


Merry Happy by Kate Nash - A song that really isn't merry or happy but pretends to be.


In the New Year by The Walkmen - An absolutely awesome album (You & Me). This song could have been written about my life.


And in other good news, I might come home with this little guy on Sunday. EEEeeeee!!!

Sinners sin, come now and play

Come in from the cold for a while,
Everything will be all right
Come in from the noise for a time,
Everything will be alright
Everything will be alright
For now, goodbye
Friend, goodbye

Lyrics: Spoon by DMB

Go Bulldogs!

My Dad, Dave and I went to the Rose Bowl on Saturday to watch my beloved Fresno State Bulldogs win against the UCLA Bruins. The Bulldog fans took over the UCLA stadium (seriously there were more red shirted fans then home team fans). I was so happy to be once again surrounded by my fellow Fresno State peeps, high fiving each other every time we scored or did something good, and screaming until my voice went hoarse. Go Bulldogs!

Finding So Much Beauty in Dirt

It's been a month since my life began to change. I'm still not ready to talk about what is happening but I just wanted to update to say that I am happy and content. The quote on the top of my blog says it all "I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I ended up where I needed to be". Life is one crazy ride and I'm so happy to be living.

Taking a Break

Life is funny sometimes. I'm taking little break from blogging while I figure some things out. My life just turned into a Spanish soap opera and half of me never wants the story line to end while the other half just wants a damn commercial break. Sorry to be so vague. Don't email me cuz I wont tell you what's going on. I say that with love.

Ahh. Life

This is me stopping, thinking, and doing what is right. Falling slowly.

A Weekend of Bliss

Dave is flying out Thursday to see his parents in NorCal (northern Cali). They plan on having a close friends and family get together on Saturday and to be honest I could not justify in my heart and head the need for 2 roundtrip airplane tickets as well as missed days from work just for a random get together. Birthday, yes. Anniversary, yes. Holiday, yes. Backyard bbq and get together, no. Dave isn't quite pleased with my decision but oh well. It is what it is. It's not like he can exactly argue with my rationale nor am I stopping him from seeing his family.

To celebrate my 4 day mini vacation of doing whatever the want, when I want. I will be spending the upcoming few days doing the following:
* Eating sushi until I can no longer look at another Philadelphia roll. Dave doesn't like sushi but he'll often come with me to eat a bento box or teriyaki. While I do appreciate his effort, I'd rather eat sushi by myself in front of the tv with a glass of red wine by my side.
* Read the rest of the Wideacre trilogy. I must admit that Wideacre deeply disturbed me. To be honest I felt rather filthy after reading it but nonetheless it was a page turner. Now that I know what to expect I am looking forward to spending the weekend in bed and alternately swooning and then going ewww.
* Watching all 4 discs of The Last Emperor on DVD. Dave has no interests in movies (especially lengthy historical epics). After watching the Olympics on tv, I am looking forward to immersing myself in Chinese history. I may not agree with it's politics but I can't help but respect a Country with true history.
* Cleaning, cleaning, cleaning! I love to get in some raggy clothes, turn the rhapsody or sirius up loud and clean until everything is spick and span.
* Option: Working out at the gym and then ruining it all by going to Sunday brunch immediately after.

I (heart) Robert Dudley

Besides spending the past week criss-crossing the country and imbibing way too many cocktails, I have been reading books. I read the fourth Twilight installment four times in a week's period. I would have read it four more times but unfortunately it is a 750 page book and lugging that across several plane flights was really not worth the effort. Instead I read two more books over the last week that have left me wanting to read 17 more books. I might have to quit my day job so that I have enough time and energy to turn on the AC, wrap myself in a big blanket, and read all day. Sometimes I think that Dave must get tired of my book wormish ways but then I remember that when I have my nose in a book I turn into the quiet and lenient wife who orders pizza for dinner, does not care what is watched on tv, and wants only for sex at night.

First I read Confessions of a Jane Austen Addict. While it is an easy chick lit read it also delved into the life and times of Jane Austen and what that meant to women. I enjoyed the book but moreover it made me really want to reread all six Jane Austen books.

Next I read The Queen's Fool by Philipa Gregory. I had watched and loved the movie rendition of The Other Boleyn Girl and was recommended to read Gregory's other works. I did and now I think I'm addicted. I desperately want to read her 11 other books that bring the life and times of 16th century England to life. The only thing that is stopping me from spending the whole weekend at the library is that I can't decide which set of books I want to read first. I've read all the Jane Austen novels before but there is only 6 of them. On the other hand I loved the Gregory novel but there are 11 of them and once I start I wont be able to stop. Decisions, decisions ...

Phelps Phan

I've just come back from a week in Washington DC. I had a wonderful time staying at this gorgeous hotel, lunching with work friends, and riding the metro. Which if I haven't mentioned it before, I am in LOVE with public transportation. I would be gloriously happy if every city I lived in allowed me to ride high speed rail from home to my place of work all while listening to my iPod. I even find the walks from the metro station to the doorstep of my work/home to be exhilarating and mind cleaning.

Truth be told I also liked being on east coast time. (Please don't tell my Cali comrades). Watching the Olympics on tv was actually live. Being on the left coast we often feel like bastard step children when watching the nightly national news and seeing the little emblem in the top left of the screen which says "pre-recorded". I also enjoy east coast time because it has royally fucked with my eating schedule leaving me not really hungry at the appropriate times thus not really eating regular meals. I've eaten like a bird over the past 8 days and I'm hoping that when I jump on the scale tomorrow morning I find that I've dropped a few pounds.

The only disjointed part of my east coast adventure was when I kept hearing them talk on the news of the lower then average temperatures and how that meant that fall was coming. Ummmm ... did they not know that summer is only half way over? We still have 6 more months of summer and then spring is here! I admit that I forget other parts of the country experience weather that doesn't involve sun, 80 degree days, and occasional wind. You might think I kid but the weather in SoCal is insanely devoid of most inclement weather. This might derail my thoughts of moving to the east coast and riding the metro until my little iPod runs out of battery. Earthquakes aren't fun but snow seriously freaks me out.

Being lewd with two dudes with food

I kinda have been watching this you tube clip over and over again. I can't help it. I may hate gorey stuff and Paris Hilton, yet as soon as you combine the two in a musical I am hooked. This song (Zydrate Anatomy) actually has me excited to see the film.


And on a similar confessional tone (but lacking Paris and gore), I have a minor crush on Jermaine from Flight of the Conchords. Something about his deep voice combined with the dark hair and tall height (which we all know I am a sucker for) have me drooling. Yum ;-)

Confessional

The 4th book in the Twilight series is being released tonight at midnight and like pre-teen girls all over the country, I plan on being at one of these midnight release parties. And I must confess that I'm not even embarrassed to be waiting amongst all the teenage flesh. In fact I am EXCITED. Beyond excited might be a better descriptor. These books have sucked me in much like the Harry Potter books sucked in others. My only concern is that I wont be able to hang until midnight.

Unsettling

It maybe wasn't a wise idea to park in an underground parking garage AFTER a 5.8 earthquake had rattled the SoCal area. Unfortunately, Dave and I went to a Padres baseball game last night and we parked where we always parked. We both didn't realize our unwise mistake until we found a parking spot three floors below the ground. As we were walking up the stairs I kept thinking of the bridge that collapsed after the Oakland earthquake and all the people that were stuck for days between the layers.


I saw the damage that was done after the Northridge earthquake (which wasn't that much larger then yesterday's quake) and I can't help but be a bit unsettled. Will there be any after shocks? Was this a pre-quake? Will this anger the mighty San Andreas fault?


In more happy news, Dave's work purchased a sky box at Petco Park. Free food and booze. Bad game but the relaxing atmosphere made up for it all.

I'm Wearing Red Glittery Shoes and Tapping Them

A co-worker and I drove 2 hours to a meeting the other day. While driving we began talking about all the places that we wanted to travel to in the future. I realized that there are quite a few places out there that I haven't seen and would like to visit in the near future. It also made me realize that maybe Dave and I need to stop repeat vacationing in Mexico and Las Vegas. While I love both places dearly there are other places that I could be spending money to visit.

Below are the locations I would like to travel to in the next 5 - 10 years. There are a few other places I'd like to visit such as Catalina Island and Borrego Springs but those are cheap and easy weekend trips so I didn't include them in the list below.

10. Florida Keys - Two years ago I spent a month in Florida for work. If California fell off the face of the Earth, I could easily move to Florida or Texas and be a very happy camper. Before this trip I had never really heard of the Florida Keys but now I would love to take a road trip through them. Making sure to stop at all the really quiet islands.

9. Almost Anywhere in Canada - In 2002 a group of girls and I flew to Vancouver for my best friend's 20th birthday and I feel in love with Canada. Now I would love to go almost anywhere in Canada: Banff, Quebec (so I can practice my french), Nova Scotia. It's cold, green, unpopulated and everything that Cali is not. Sometimes you need a little yin to make you appreciate the yang.

8. Santa Barbara Wine Country - I've wine tasted in Napa, Sonoma, Temecula, and the Willamette Valley of Oregon. Now I'd like to explore Santa Barbara wines and have the opportunity to sleep at one of these awesome cabins on the beach.

7. Yosemite High Sierra Camp - I love Yosemite (I got married there!) and I love the idea of hiking someplace really remote but not having to deal with heavy back packs.

6. Palm Springs Girls Get Away - This is more of a weekend trip (Palm Springs is about 2 hours from where I live) but I'd like to do a girl's getaway weekend. Laying by the pool, going to the spa, talking with friends, and enjoying a mojito is my idea of a great time.

5. Point Arena - For our second date, Dave invited me to go camping with him and it was at that point that I think I fell in love. For our 5 year dating anniversary (next August!) I'd love to go back to Point Arena and stay at this Inn.

4. Month on the Oregon Coast - I'd love to take a month long holiday, rent a cabin on the coast and just enjoy each day. Renting a cabin on Cali's coast is economically not feasible but to me Oregon's Coast is just as beautiful.

3. Europe! - I think I've said this a million times but lately I'm feeling the itch to explore Europe. I'd want to go backpacking through Scotland, England, and the French countryside.

2. Alaska - I'd love to take a cruise with Dave's family to Alaska. I think it would be scenic as well as a bonding experience for Dave's family and myself.

1. Trip with Friends - Anywhere. I could care less where we went but I would love to take a vacation with a group of married friends. Sorry Tam, unfortunately this anywhere doesn't include Iowa to visit you and Ryan! ;-)

AND we just felt a 5.8 earthquake. Ok. NOW I'm ready to go anywhere but Cali.

Dispatch from the Goddess

Last night Dave and I braved the Comic Con crowds and went downtown to see a theatre production of Phantom of the Opera. Comic Com always seems to bring the crazies to San Diego. Last year it was a giant raspberry which turned out to be a cartoon character named Meatwad. This year it was eating at Yard House seated next to a group of people who were dressed in business suits but covered in fake blood. I didn't have the heart to ask them what characters they were supposed to be. Then after the play was over we walked to our car and were greeted in the parking garage's elevator by 3 people who were dressed like characters from the video game Zelda. They had a movie camera and were filming us and kept calling me Goddess. Luckily I grew up near LA and having a stranger's film camera stuck in my face doesn't bother me as much as it might bother others. Plus the Goddess part didn't hurt either. Unfortunately, Dave and I didn't ask them what the filming was for and we will probably be credited as "Random Parking Garage Patron and his Goddess". I wonder if that's enough to have an imdb profile created for me?

The play was quite pleasant except Dave and I didn't get the memo that people in San Diego wear all black to the theatre. I've been to the theatre in LA (when I was young) and people wore formal dresses but they were in all sorts of colors. And in San Francisco people tend to be very laid back and come to the theatre in khakis and sun dresses. I was quite surprised by the sea of people in black waiting to enter the theatre. I was wearing a turquoise/brown skirt and Dave was wearing khakis and a polo shirt. I felt under dressed this time but am excited to go again and break out a few of my black dresses.

iDont Love the iPhone

Yesterday, Dave and I went to the local Apple store (one of three in our area) to buy the iPhone 3G for myself. Dave has had an iPhone for several months and loves it and the many neat gadgets associated with the phone. I've always been a blackberry sort of girl but after using Dave's phone to view websites and watch you tube videos I was kinda leaning toward buying one for myself. We went to the Apple store 15 minutes after opening and were greeted at the door with a line of 50 customers before us already waiting to get their own phones. I about threw my body on the floor and began pounding the cement with my fists in frustration. iPhones were so last week and here we are 9 days later and people are still waiting several hours in line just to get their hands on one. Plus we live in a town where there are THREE Apple stores within a 30 minute drive of where we live. I feel sorry for the suckers who live in towns where there is only one Apple store for several hours. So after waiting in line for an hour we are told that we are in luck. It will take us several more hours to reach the front on the line but! a phone will be available for us. So we wait, and wait, and wait. I get my phone, pay $400, and viola it is activated. I've been playing with the phone since yesterday afternoon and have so far been very disappointed with the iPhone. I think I may be the very 1st person on the planet who didn't have a previous grudge against Apple that actually is disappointed. The reasons I don't like the iPhone:

1. It's not easy to personalize the thing. There are many cool apps available on the phone but once you download the app then you are stuck with it's stock appearance. I want to make my calendar pink, my backdrop purple, and my alarm clock snooze on a 5 minute schedule versus the stock 10 which allow me to go right back to sleep.

2. It's screen rests against my cheek and gets all make-upey and oily. Yuck.

3. I cannot for the life of me get my work email to download onto the damn thing. It says that email download wasn't successful but wont give me an error code or tell me why the download wasn't successful. Is my server not available? Did I enter the password wrong? Is my work firewalling the download???

4. Hubby and I can't share CDs on the iPod portion. We have to buy a physical CD and then download it to each of our iPhones. We can't buy songs in iTunes and then share. That sucks.

5. I'm sure I'll think of others. I still haven't imported my contacts from my palm software to the Outlook software that iPhone mandates you use. I don't expect this to be easy.

My Name is Cori and I Endorse this Post

It's summer and I've been in the movie watching mood lately. There is nothing good on the tv, the beaches are crowded, and really there isn't much else to do after work. A few weeks ago I watched the movie Atonement starring Keira Knigtley and James McAvoy. Wait. Let's take a moment to bow our heads and be thankful for the holy hotness that is James McAvoy. Mmmmmm ..... I have a thing for Scottish boys. Mmmmm...... Anyways. I loved the movie but was left with quite a few questions so I decided to check the book out from the local library. I'm so glad I did. The movie follows the book very closely but the book gives so many details that make you appreciate the movie 10 times more. I kinda even want to re-watch the movie again because the book was so good. Two thumbs up.

Not Related: James McAvoy is HOT

In-laws were in town this weekend. Dave and I survived with our marriage and sanity intact. No really it wasn't that bad. MIL was decently pleasant and non-demanding during the visit. While I went to work on Friday they helped Dave around the house with a few home improvement projects (we have drapes now!) and then that night I made them an awesome dinner. Saturday we woke up late, were lazy for part of the morning, and then headed out to the coast to brave the horse racing crowds and eat at my favorite café on the beach. After strolling around and watching a few Hawaiian dancers as well as the surfers we came home and then later that night dropped them off at the airport.

Relatively painless. My only problem is that I know my in laws (and hubby too) tend to be rather passive aggressive which I HATE. When we are all together everyone is pleasant and pretends to be happy. Then the minute doors (or eyes) are closed the true feelings come out. I'm a really straight forward and simple person and the whole acting one way but feeling another way charade just really gets to me. If you have a problem then say what bothers you, fix it, and/or get over it. The whole weekend MIL was nice to me but after the whole wedding debacle I know that’s not how she really feels. I'd honestly rather never see her again until she apologizes to me but I know from talking to hubby that will never happen. Oh well. Half the time I'm grateful that she at least acts nice to me. And the other half of the time I wish she would just tell me what she really thinks (no matter how unpleasant) so that I know where I stand. I'm a trusting person and I would just rather be able to be nice to someone and trust them rather then be nice to them but hold them at arms length. Hubby is big on the concept of family but I don't really see the point of being nice to people just because you share the same blood as them. I'd rather be nice and loving to someone because I like them and respect them as a friend.

In more pleasant news, I've been in a pie making mood lately so I used the in-laws visit as an excuse to bake the worlds best peach-a-berry pie this weekend. The recipe below can be switched up to whatever fruits you have on hand: peaches/raspberries, peaches/blueberries (this is what I put in my pie), nectarines/cherries (the next pie I make), etc.

INGREDIENTS
4 cups fresh peaches - peeled, pitted and sliced
2 cups fresh raspberries
3/4 cup white sugar
3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
2 (9 inch) pie crusts
2 tablespoons butter, softened and cut into pieces
1 tablespoon coarse granulated sugar
1 egg (for washing the top of the pie)

DIRECTIONS
1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C).
2. Place peaches and berries in a colander for about 15 minutes to drain any excess fluid , then transfer to a large bowl. Gently toss with sugar, flour, and cinnamon. Transfer to a pie crust. Dot with butter, and top with remaining crust. Brush with egg. Cut vents in top crust, and sprinkle with coarse sugar.
3. Bake 45 minutes in the preheated oven, until crust is golden brown. (Don't forget to place a pan under the pie to catch all the pie oozy stuff!!!)

Oh My

Just when I needed to laugh. Seriously this is hilarious. Trust me.

Click here and laugh (safe for work, kinda)

Blue

I've been insanely bored lately.

I've always been surrounded by friends, or wedding planning, or buried in work and any days where my schedule was clear were greatly appreciated. Lately my schedule has been clear almost every day. My few friends who live in the area are busy with their newborn babies, I haven't traveled for work due to a bad budget, Dave hasn't had any work functions, I'm not taking classes at the local college, I finally have a full staff so work isn't so hectic, etc. All I'm left with are days where I wake up at 7am, go to work, come home at 4pm, cook dinner, then watch tv or a movie. Lather, rinse, repeat. I read an occasional book but the bottom line is that my day is too open and it leaves me feeling bored, sad, and lonely.

Sometimes I get mad at the Hubby but really we've always been two sorts of different people. I like hiking, cooking, reading, wine tasting and watching movies. He does not. He likes playing video games, watching sports, and relaxing in front of the television. I do not. There really isn't much that we like to do together but that's always been okay because we both appreciate our differences. Except now when I'm bored and wishing I had a partner to entertain me.

I could watch a movie by myself but I've already done that about a zillion times. I could go hiking but its a bit hot this summer and its really not safe to hike alone with rattlesnakes and mountain lions. I could take a cooking class but that's just one night of entertainment. I could take another class at the local college but there really isn't a subject that I'm interested in learning. The beach is always fun but right now is prime tourist season and I don't need a tan. I can't really go wine tasting by myself. Craigslist is always an option but one that leaves me uneasy.

Ho hum. I wish there was an easy answer. At this point I'm tempted to clean the house again, just to give myself something to do.

And Then I Kicked Him in His Mouth

Overheard: Hubby complaining about today and how it was going to be soooooo hot and why do we live in the desert???

We live 17 miles from the coast.

Today's high is supposed to be 81 degrees.

I think I need to send him to Pheonix or better yet to Atlanta where the high is 87 but it feels like 92 because of the humidity.

Better yet I should just kick him in the mouth.

3 Weeks Late

If there ever was a way to ensure that a married couple would not want to divorce then all you have to do is remodel their kitchen. My new kitchen is so beautiful that all I want to do is spend hours sitting at the bar and staring at how well everything came together. There is no way that I would ever think of leaving David because if I did then I could not afford the mortgage on my own and there is no way in hell that I would ever move out.

To See Before Pics, Click Here

The entire remodel took 6 weeks and turned out 10x more polished then I could have ever hoped. All of the cabinets are custom and include self closing hinges. The appliances are bosch and GE, floor and back splash are tumbled travertine, and counters are granite.












To see more pics (including many of the process), go to my webshots

Oh Dear

I've been having decidedly anti-baby feelings lately. I never thought I would be so flip flopity on a situation. One month I want kids and then next I'm like "oh, hells noe".

Do Kids Make You Happy? Answer: Not so Much

Also, ummmm ... No thank you

My honest theory is that marriage is like having babies. Before you get married people tell you that marriage is work but they never tell you exactly how much work it requires. I love my husband and all but marriage is hard, tedious, and often boring. I think people don't tell you this because then no one would ever get married. I don't think parents tell you how hard it is either because then no one would ever have kids and sometimes admitting that it sucks isn't always the most PC thing to do. Just my theories for this month. Next month look forward to me singing love songs about my husband and how wonderful he is as well as baby names I've recently picked out.

Who Let the Dogs Out?

Fresno State did it!!!! From being a non-seeded team to NCAA Champions. Congratulations Bulldogs. Never before has a college team made such a Cinderella style climb to the top. I watched the Championship games and never before have I wanted to return to Fresno just so I could be surrounded by my fellow Bulldog fans and cheer for our team. Gooooo! Bulldogs!

Ignorance is Bliss

Throughout the past few years, on and off, I've tried to cyber stalk my exes. No real reason other then a general nosiness and desire to know what has happened to them over the years. I'm not in contact with ANY of my exes (which I think says something about me and the way I break up with boys). For me this sucks since I really would like to know how they are doing and what has become of them. I've tried using google, myspace, and facebook to search for my various exes (some more then others) yet have been unable to find a single ex. Wait, take that back, I have found one but I really don't care to know what he is up too and then one other I refuse to look up because he is pure evil. But that leaves like 20 other exes (I dated A LOT in college) and the fact that I can't find them on-line frustrates me to no end. So many stories left unfinished. I was a science major in college so I know that I have the ability to conduct a search effectively. I think that the guys I date just aren't on-line or have names that are way too common to easily google.

That is until tonight.

I found the Matt that I talked about briefly here. I realize now that maybe ignorance is bliss. I know that he and I would have never worked out. He was a really great guy but he was a pilot in the air force and I am a big weenie that would have never been able to deal with a boyfriend in the military who was putting his life at risk on a regular basis. Matt is getting married and while this doesn't bother me (he really was an A+++ type guy) what I read in the news article I found does. We dated in November/December 2001. He met his fiancee in Summer 2002 which means that while my heart was being broken (not by him) and I was spending the darkest most depressing summer alone, he was falling in love with his future wife. The darkest part of my life was his happiest. The juxtaposition strikes me much closer to the core then it really should (esp 6 years later).

edited: I originally posted the text of the article but then I realized that Matt or his fiancee could easily google their own names and find my blog. Ummm ... maybe not a good idea. Too bad because the article really was sickeningly sweet and gave a great idea of the type of guy Matt is. Stupid google.

Go Bulldogs!!!!

GO FRESNO STATE!!!!

I cannot wait to watch the championship game tonight! After watching last night's game I was half-tempted to hop on a plane and fly out to Omaha, Nebraska just to root my team on.

SQUEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!

*Sigh*

Dave and I are planning our next vacation to the Mexican coast. As it stands now in October we'll be spending 7 days at an all inclusive, adult's only resort in Cancun. Part of me is beyond excited. The all inclusive lifestyle suits David and I perfectly: sleeping in late, breakfast on the balcony, pool until lunch, beer, more beer, nap, and then dinner. Then another huge part of me is so !!!!! (not sure what to name what I am feeling). This will be our 3rd all inclusive vacation to Mexico and while I love my husband dearly, he can be a huge bore when it is just the 2 of us and we don't have work or home to talk about. He's not the guy who has me laughing in stitches, nor is he a charmer, or a guy who likes to discuss life and other philosophical topics. He's laid back and somewhat simple. I love this about him but at the same time when it is just the 2 of us I am often the one to keep the conversation going. And this gets a little tiring when I am the one being witty and funny all.night.long for several days in a row. Last time we went I tried making friends but I am just not that insta-BFF type person (I really tried). I feel like I am pressuring the other person and being needy even though that type of behavior is a positive when have a limited window of time to create a friendship.

I wish we had more friends our age that we could invite along on our vacation. Unfortunately the few really good couple friends we have are either dirt poor or trying to conceive (and not in the mood for free flowing alcohol). I'm also tempted to invite my in laws (yes I am that desperate for a fun time) but I know that if I did this then all the best relaxing parts of our vacation would be ruined. My MiL is not one to sit still for 5 minutes which is great when you're looking for something to do but I really enjoy sitting by the pool reading a book for several hours. Not to mention she would hog all of Dave's time and while he can be a bore I do enjoy his presence. He has a great relaxing quality about him which I appreciate.

All in all I am conflicted. Go solo and relax knowing that at sometime during the vacation I am going to be disappointed in my hubby and his inability to keep me entertained. Or invite another couple and risk having a vacation being pestered to do things that I really don't want to do. I know this isn't the worst problem in the world to have (I feel so incredibly lucky) but a problem that bums me out nonetheless.

Spoiled

Yesterday I went to the mall to get a few new Wacoal bras (nothing but the best for my boobies). Seriously, if you're bigger then a B cup and looking for a bra then I highly recommend Wacoal. They are pricey but so very comfortable and cute.

Anyways, I was walking through the mall on my way to Nordstrom's for the bras when I passed by the Coach store and saw that it was having a sale. I walked in and and 5 minutes later walked out with 4 new pairs of shoes. One pair of killer heels, blue patchwork sneakers, and signature sneakers in brown and black. Overkill yes but worth every penny. Even better was that when I returned home I immediately showed my husband my new shoes and he didn't kill me over the $500 in purchases. Now if I can only get him to agree to the z4 which I still want very, very badly.

The Paper Anniversary

One year ago this is what we were doing. We celebrated last night with dinner at our favorite Brazilian churrascaria. This morning (our actual anniversary) we exchanged gifts. We decided that we would celebrate with traditional wedding anniversary gifts. Dave gave me an origami books as well as a book of poetry and a compilation of stories from one of my favorite authors. I surprised him with my new social security card showing that I changed my last name (that's a whole nother blog post in itself). Tonight we plan on watching the Lakers/Celtics championship game on tv and then eating a piece of our wedding cake (vanilla toffee with caramel filling, mmmmmmm....)

Now, my personal diary account of the wedding weekend. Warts and all.

Thursday
Dave and I began the day at 7am. The night before we had made the 3½-hour drive from San Diego to Bakersfield. We had driven the night before for two reasons: to avoid LA traffic and to prevent having to wake up too early. We woke up, took quick showers and then got dressed. I was wearing a pair of cute short-short khakis with a white henley t-shirt, blue fitted denim jacket, and nude sandals. I feel very cute! Exactly like a bride-to-be should feel.

We made the 3-hour drive through the Central Valley stopping only to grab a quick breakfast at McD’s. We arrived in Oakhurst at 11:00 am and immediately stopped at the cake bakers to drop off our cake jewelry. We then continued the 11 miles north to Tenaya Lodge so that we could check in. We got to the lodge and were immediately treated like royalty as soon as we mentioned that it was our wedding weekend. This theme would continue through out our stay. Tenaya really did a great job of making sure that every one of our demands was met promptly and efficiently.

Unfortunately, we arrived at the lodge much earlier then expected so our room wasn’t ready yet. I had a lot to do that day so I went to the patio and began assembling our bridal party gifts. Dave went to the pool to have a few beers and relax. At 1 pm our room still wasn’t ready but I needed to drive back down to Oakhurst to do some grocery shopping and get my hair straightened.

It was at this point that a little bit of the stress started to get to me. I had a very tight schedule and it seemed like everyone (and their mother!) was calling me with the most mundane questions. “Does the hotel room have a fridge?” “Can I get directions to the lodge?” “What time does the rehearsal dinner begin?” “What should I wear?” I was about to lose it by the time I had completed my errands and arrived back to the hotel to discover that Dave still hadn’t checked into the hotel room because he was still drinking beers by the pool “relaxing and entertaining” our guests (!!!) AND my Dad was sitting in the hotel lobby an hour before the rehearsal dinner was to begin because he didn’t know where his hotel was (across the street!). Luckily Dave saw that I had a short fuse and quickly ushered me up to my room to get dressed before the rehearsal dinner was to begin.

At 3:45pm we all met in Dave’s parents hospitality suite to give out presents to the bridal party and do our little speeches. Dave, our bridal party, and I sat around for 45 minutes waiting for everyone to arrive before beginning. (Our bridal party was rather small (12ish including spouses) and there was supposed to be 25 people for the dinner). Finally, I asked Dave’s Mom where everyone was and she said that she had told them to meet us after the rehearsal but before dinner began (???). She said that she thought we wanted the rehearsal to be “intimate” so she had told everyone to wait until dinner began before arriving. I’m not sure where she got this idea since the RD invitations had been printed with the time (3:45p) and place (hosp suite) printed on them. So reluctantly I gave out the bridal party presents in front of the very small group in attendance. This is one thing I would have changed. Since we gave out presents in the beginning of the evening we weren’t liquored up and therefore the whole heartfelt experience felt a little forced. I needed to have some liquor to get the nerves out before telling everyone how much they meant to Dave and me.

At 4:45p we made our way to the back lawn to begin the rehearsal. I (as well as my bridesmaids) had never done this before so we were happy to be bossed around by the wedding coordinator. The only hitch came when at the very last minute (and I knew she would try to pull this) Dave’s mom requested to have Dave (her son) walk her down the aisle. I was against this because in my experience this is not tradition and because I didn’t want Dave to be seen until the last minute. So at the last minute Linda asks in front of everyone why David isn’t walking her down the aisle. I told her no and that the best man would be doing that honor (her nephew).

After rehearsal, the bridesmaids and I ran upstairs to do a quick change. The dinner was going to be an outside style Yosemite BBQ so we needed to change from our dresses and heels into jeans and boots. We all met in the lobby and were led by a guide on a short hike through the forest to a clearing where a fire, bar, tables, and food had been set up for us. To complete the experience there was also a storyteller who sang us campfire songs through out the evening. After eating and drinking we all sat around the fire and the little ones made smore's while the grown ups tended to gravitate towards the bar where we drank and flirted with the bartender (my bridesmaids) and told dirty jokes (my Dad and the groomsmen). By the end of the night we were all very happy and drunk!

Friday
I woke up on Friday feeling VERY calm and serene. I thought that I would need to wake up early on Friday and hit the gym to work off some nervous energy but I found that was not the case at all. I wasn’t nervous, or anxious, or anything like that. It was all very weird. I’m not sure if it was because it all felt like a dream and didn’t hit me that THIS WAS MY WEDDING DAY or if I just felt so calm because I had been planning for a year and a half and was ready for this day to finally come!

I went down to the hotel’s spa for my pedicure and manicure. I know that everyone tells you not to have any spa services done on the big day but I couldn’t avoid it since I had been so busy the week before and didn’t have a spare moment to get my nails done. I got to the spa and discovered that my appointment time had been screwed up and that the nail lady wasn’t even scheduled to arrive for another hour. I didn’t stress out or even get mad (much to the surprise of the staff). There was really nothing I could do but wait at the point. So I sat down with my book (love Nicholas Sparks!) and read until the nail lady hurried in 30 minutes later. She quickly did my nails and my toes during which time I realized I didn’t have enough time after my nail appointment to go back up to the room and grab a few essential items. I used the house phone to call my bms and asked Marci to run to my room and grab a bellboy so that several boxes and my wedding dress could be loaded. Both my bridesmaids really stepped up to the plate during my wedding weekend. All I had to do was bat my eyelashes at them and they immediately went above and beyond to get everything accomplished.

After getting my nails done (which I was only charged half due to the scheduling screw up) I went to the hospitality suite to meet my bridesmaids and Dave’s mom. We arrived and Dave’s mom was already in the process of getting her hair and make-up done by the hairstylist. While she was getting made up, the bms and I broke out the champagne and tried to connect the portable DVD player to the flat screen TV. I had netflix’d several wedding DVDs (Father of the Bride, Wedding Singer, My Best Friend’s Wedding) so that we could watch the appropriately themed flicks while getting ready. Unfortunately, the flat screen was embedded in the rock fireplace so reaching the DVD jacks was impossible. To pass time we assembled the wedding favors and joked around (which meant making fun of each other).

Through the rest of the afternoon the bms and I had our hair and makeup done. I actually asked the hairstylist 3 times to re-do my hair which is so not like my personality (I’m usually easy to please). The hairstylist was great but unfortunately (even though I brought pics) didn’t understand the difference between the romantic chignon that I wanted and the old lady bun she kept putting on my head. We finally ended up with a hybrid chignon/old lady bun that wasn’t exactly what I had envisioned but was much better then the 1st attempt.

At 3:30p it was time for me to put my wedding dress on. It really felt so incredibly surreal. I had dreamed of this day for so long and I couldn’t believe that it was actually here. While the bms were getting their dresses on, I was walking around the hotel room in my heels, undies, and strapless bra with a glass of champagne in my hand. My undies said “bride” in blue rhinestones and I kept jokingly telling everyone “I’m the bride! My undies say so!” I thought it was hilarious but I think everyone else was beginning to think the stress and champagne were getting to me.

The bms began the time consuming process of tying the corset top of my Maggie Sottero dress. Making the job even more laborious was the fact that I had been mysteriously dropping weight and inches the week before the wedding. The sides of the corset top actually touched each other and the boob area was kinda loose. While they were lacing me up, my Dad ran into the room sweating bullets with his vest and tie in hand. He had been playing golf all morning and then went back to his room to take a nap. He woke up at 3pm and thought he was late for the wedding cuz he had forgotten what time he needed to be ready. This is another thing I would change. My parents are divorced and my Dad was really nervous that weekend (giving me away and seeing my mom again). I should have assigned one person to watch over my Dad for the entire weekend so that my Dad could act more like a normal person and less like Seinfield’s Kramer.

After calming my Dad down and getting me dressed, the photographer and florist came in to get us set up. I remember walking by the mirror on my way out and thinking “wow. I’ve never felt so pretty”. I really did feel like the pretty princess I had always hoped I would be on my wedding day.

I’m not much for tradition so Dave and I saw each other before the wedding to take pictures. One of the best decisions ever! Not only did this free us up to spend more time with our guests during the reception but it also quieted any small nerves that we both may have had. Dave, our bridal party, and I took pictures in front of the forest canopy while drinking champagne and beers. I never expected to feel so relaxed.

By 5:15pm we were all done with our photos and so we all went to the special bridal party suite they had set up for us to relax before the ceremony began at 6pm. I didn’t expect to be finished with photos so early but because we were on time and had such a small bridal party, we didn’t take long to get all the necessary shots. I had drunk a lot of champagne by this time but for some odd reason was not feeling drunk or even slightly tipsy!

At 6pm they lined us all up and I began to get a little nervous. The time was finally here!!! Eek! Part of me was a bit sad that my day was here and would be over before I knew it but another part of me just wanted to get the show on the road! While everyone was being lined up in a different area, I was upstairs with my Dad waiting what seemed like forever. Finally just as I thought things were going to begin, my Grandma comes running up the stairs. She suddenly decided that she needed to use the restroom and couldn’t wait until after the ceremony. Errrrr!!!

So things finally get rolling and I step out on the balcony to watch the ceremony processional below. What do I see???? Dave walking his mom down the aisle!! The one thing I had specifically asked her not to do. Errrrr!!!! Dave’s mom is VERY bossy and I new that she would push him to get her way (she always pushes people to get her way). I know it was a small thing at the time but in the grand scheme of things it really sucks to have a bossy MIL and a husband who wont stand up to her and say no! I was so mad because this was OUR wedding and she was getting her way in the middle of our ceremony. Errrr!

So I walk done the stairs for my grand entrance. Just as I’m about to walk down the main aisle (grass and rose petals) my heels sink BIG time since the grass was so wet. I thought I was going to trip and fall. I ended up taking super tiny baby steps so that my dress couldn’t get caught under my shoes.

The ceremony began and my Dad pretty much left me at the alter and high tailed it to his seat! HAHA!!! He was so nervous and forgot that he was supposed to kiss me and shake Dave’s hand to give me to the groom! Dave and I just looked at each other and kinda laughed. My poor Dad. The entire ceremony felt a little forced and technical. The sun was in Dave’s eyes the entire time and he could barely keep them open. Plus I was still mad at Dave’s mom and felt it was really hard to concentrate on the words with being mad and worrying about Dave’s eyes. This was the other thing I would change. I wish I had stopped, closed my eyes, and really listened to the vows and their importance. Dave and I went the entire ceremony without crying! I thought for sure I would have been a total mess. I’ve wanted to marry Dave for so long and my dream was finally coming true! The only surprise was at the end of the ceremony when they announced us as man and wife and Dave gave me a big French kiss!!! In front of everyone!

After the ceremony, the guests went to the tent for the cocktail hour while we all got together to take a big family shot. Dave’s mom started to boss everyone around so that she could get a few more family shots taken and that is when I lost it. She is so bossy!!! I dragged Dave out of there and we both went up to the bridal party suite. It’s just so frustrating cuz she always gets her way and forces everyone to do what she wants. Even more frustrating is that no one stands up to her and acts like her little pawns in the game of life. Errrr!!!!

After being upset in the bridal party suite and throwing a mini hissy fit, it was time for the guests to be seated and for the bridal party to be announced. Immediately after seating they played our photo montage. (sigh) Whenever I am sad or mad at Dave, all I need to do is look at the photo montage and instantly I feel so much better. The rest of the reception went off without a hitch. The food was great, beer was flowing, dj kept everyone dancing, cake was gorgeous, and the floral centerpieces were amazing. Besides the processional hiccup, the evening truly was perfect. The one thing that did surprise me about the evening was the fact that I was NOT hungry. You couldn’t pay me to touch food and usually I’m a person who loves to eat. As soon as our food was set down, I immediately asked the server to box it up and take it away. Not even dancing got me hungry for cake!

In a blink of an eye it was midnight and the last song was played, Adam Sandler’s “Grow Old With You”.

Saturday
Dave and I fought the night before about his mom's behavior and didn’t end up going to sleep until 3am. The next morning we woke up late and immediately collected our floral centerpieces and other wedding paraphernalia from the bridal party suite. Around noon we both went down to the pool and spent the rest of the afternoon laying poolside. It was a really nice way to relax after being so busy the week before. It also got me excited for the honeymoon! I love reading and relaxing by the pool! For dinner that night we went to the lodge’s 5 star restaurant and had a romantic meal. I even convinced the chef to make me Beef Wellington even though it wasn’t on the menu!! (I told you that they treated us like royalty). Dave and I ended the evening after playing a few rounds of Dance, Dance Revolution in the basement arcade and then meeting Dave’s parents for desert and wine.

Sunday
(sigh) Dave was eager to get on the road but I was reluctant to leave. I had a really amazing weekend and Tenaya Lodge was so awesome to us. I didn’t want to leave them or the weekend behind. Around 10:30am, Dave and I loaded the car and began the 6-hour drive south to San Diego.

Z

I've been thinking of Z a lot this past week. Most of it has been the woulda, coulda, shoulda type thinking even though I don't think that Z was the love of my life nor do I think that we should or would be together today if we had hooked up all those years ago. I do think that Z and I would have become boyfriend/girlfriend and been happy together for several months. When a guy decides to commit to me, he often stays with me until I break up with him. I'm a good girlfriend, I'm loving, I like sex, I like to drink, I don't become a drama queen when I do drink, I'm clean, I'm funny, and I'm laid back. And while I did have fun in college, I would have relished the real love Z could have given me that the other college boys did not. I have I have no doubt that Z and I would have stayed together for most of my senior year of college.

Bringing me out of this funk, if funk is what you call it, is knowing that if I had dated Z then I would not have met and fallen for Monty. And even through all the pain and misery that Monty and I endured, there is nothing that I would have given up in return for those days with Monty. My love for him defied explanation or reasoning. If there is one man that I can say is my soul mate then it is Monty even though my life would have been hell had I not walked away from him. I realize that I've never written about Monty and one day I intend to. It's just such a long and convoluted story and it is difficult to find the beginning and the end.

In my eyes everything happens for a reason. Regardless of what did not happen with Z if I had not fallen head over heals for Monty, I would not have fallen into black times, Jay would not have picked me up and set my world somewhat right again, and after breaking up with Jay I would have never met Dave. For that I am forever thankful.

Perfect music video for my frame of mind. Sometimes the movie script ending isn't always the happy ending.

Q&A Time

Q: Who got an A in their college level french class?
A: This rockstar did. (which really rockstar might be the wrong label. Nerds get As in their language classes not rockstars)

Q: Who has a brand new Wii?
A: A really dorky husband and his wife. I've actually really liked the Wii even though I am not a video game type person. We've had friends and coworkers over for Mojito & Burrito Nights and after getting them sufficiently liquored up, strapped wii remotes on them and then let them go at it in boxing. Quite hilarious.

Q: Who really, really, REALLY wants a BMW z4 coupe?
A: My name is Cori and I have a slight addiction to fast cars.

Remember that Time?

One of the main reasons I love having a blog is so that I can keep a record of all the changes in my life. The good, the bad, the forgettable. Several times I've gone back in my blog archives and read through a month's post only to be surprised by how many things I've seemed to forgotten. No matter how sad, embarrassing, or hurtful I think life is meant to be cherished and the idea of my memories fading really freaks me out.

My best friend B once dated a guy from the college swim team named Kevin and introduced his friends to our group of girlfriends. Even though Kevin and B only dated two months, our groups of friends got along swimmingly thus 4 of the 7 nights per week were spent in each others company. I ended up hooking up with one of Kevin's friends, Matt, several times even though our "relationship" was very casual on both our parts. Kevin had another friend named Z who was HILARIOUS. Z could have really been a comedian. He was a lot of fun to be around and definitely the life of our parties. Z focused his attention equally on my friends M and N but never hooked up with either (that I can recall). Our friendship with Kevin's friends happened shortly after a really good friend of ours got into a car accident and therefore I had bought a video camera with the intention of documenting my friends. Many of these early tapes were filled with footage of Kevin, Z, Matt and their friends.

The other day my best friend B went back to our college town to visit some friends. While in Fresno she ran into Kevin and Z at a popular bar. She and a few (non-mutual) friends spent the evening talking and dancing with Kevin and Z. The next morning B called me and asked what went on between Z and I because he wouldn't stop talking about me and asking what was going on in my life. Right away I told her nothing. Z was cute and tall but I was hooking up with Matt. B asked if I was sure because Z talked about me alot that night until the point where B got bored recalling memories of me. She mentioned one memory that Z kept recalling and suddenly it all came back and hit me like a ton of bricks.

One night Z, Kevin, B and I were all hanging out at B's house. Matt was a pilot in the Airforce and was gone for weeks on end. Matt and I were very casual so his absence was really not a big deal to me. Kevin and B quickly retired to her room which left Z and me to hang out. I remember that we really didn't drink much that night but Z and I stayed up watching tv. We decided to sleep together in the guest bedroom since I had already staked claim of the extra bed and Z was too tall to sleep comfortably on the couch. I expected both of us to fall asleep quickly but instead we stayed up until dawn talking and laughing. At one point I remember us discussing "us" and how we were perfect for each other. Shortly after we feel asleep in each other's embrace. When I woke the next morning Kevin and Z had already left. I remember feeling really excited because Z was a great guy I had never realized that the two of us had great potential as a real relationship. The next time we saw each other Z never mentioned our candid convo nor did he try to hook up with me. I didn't try to hook up with him either or bring up that night but at the time I thought maybe Z had made a big mistake and didn't really like me. Looking back maybe Z thought the same thing. Kevin and B broke up shortly after and we didn't see Kevin or Z much again.

The next morning I remember that all night conversation being really important to me. Yet today I can't remember what we talked about. The discussion of "us" and the feeling of joy afterwards are vague memories. What we watched on tv is unknown to me (maybe kids?). Even whether we kissed or not at the end of the night is hazy. I would think that I would remember kissing Z but for some reason I have very vague memories of straddling Z on the bed and him stopping us from going further. But then again this is a very vague memory and if it actually happened it is blurry to me.

Shouldn't I remember all this? If 6 years later my fondest memories have begun to disappear then what else will disappear in 5 more years. Will there be a day when I wonder who Kevin and Z were? When I forget what happened on Dave and my first date? When I forget what the girls and I did on my wedding day? Memories fade but I wish they wouldn't.

Spanx You Very Much

Of all the things in this world, I think I love Spanx 4th most (topping the very shallow list would be sushi, sex, and books). Spanx is an essential part of my wardrobe anytime I have a non-work function where more then 2 people will see me. Tonight I have a dinner with Dave's coworkers and you can bet your bottom dollar that I will be spanx'd out. Spanx are even so comfortable (I have the slim cognito) that I can wear it through an entire 8 hour work day and never once feel like my innards are being pushed out my mouth. If you've never heard of Spanx then read this, go buy yourself a pair, and then tell me you love me later.

The Awful Truth

My work has done a great job of recognizing all the long hours I put in after the October fires. Left and right I've received tons of official and non-official pats on the back from all levels. I'm appreciative of the praise especially since I did work 12-14 hour days for 4 months straight but I must admit I'm not one for the limelight and sometimes like to do the dirty work from the shadows. A month ago my picture went up on the front of my agency's website as an employee profile. I wasn't a fan of the picture but I had no one to blame since several times I was asked by the PR peeps to pick out a picture but refused because I didn't want to be all high maintenance and request a pro looking action shot of me doing my job (which I have several). That's the bad part of me being the "it" girl of the moment (which I realize that this is my 15 min of fame and it wont last much longer). Everyone at work has known me since I was the 20 year old intern who was reliable but often came to work slightly hungover from the frat party the night before. I don't want my coworkers to think I've forgotten my roots or worse yet to think that I did all the work after the fires by myself. I have a wonderful staff of 12 plus a myriad of coworkers from across the state who came down and spent time away from their families to help me out. Anyways, I try really hard to not be the drama queen in the center of all the attention.

Today a very glossy, very professional looking "magazine" type thing came off production that will be sent to several very big wigs in my agency's National HQ. My picture is plastered across the magazine on about 5 different pages (of the 10 pages total). And in every single photo I look fat. Like really fat. Like WOW. I didn't realize I had gotten that big fat. I could blame it on the PR person who did the layout but in all honestly it's not that the photos are unflattering. I think it's that I really look as bad as the pics portray. This magazine should be something that I cherish but instead it's something that I am really not proud of because of the way I look.

I know that its not really about the photos, it's about the story within the magazine but let's not kid ourselves. That's like saying men subscribe to playboy for the articles and not the hot chicks. The big wigs that receive the magazine are all very busy people and wont have much time to actually read the text. They'll flip through it and be greeted with me looking like a lard-o. I've seen my face on other agency promo material and several times been pleased with how I look. This isn't me just being hard on myself because I don't wear the standard SoCal size 2. This is me being hard on myself because once again I've let my weight get out of control and I'm really embarrassed of the way I look.

Note to Self

When you have been deemed by the family to be "old enough" to know your cousin's pseudo name that she uses for modeling and other questionable activities. Do NOT, repeat do NOT google her. You will just be inundated with icky, icky things that you did not want to see your cousin doing. Bad, bad, bad.

PS - I still love my cousin. What I saw has not made me think less of her in the bit. She is a gorgeous girl who has had a lot of pain in her life and yet still surmounted it all to have a successful career.

I REALLY Need to do This!

Reasons why I NEED to stay motivated and lose weight:

1. I feel crappy when I attend Dave's work functions and I am neither cute nor reasonably thin. I feel like a big, fat, unattractive wife.

2. I am interviewing for a 2 year leadership fellowship in July and I want to look and feel my best!

3. Family get together in August. I will feel like a slob if I am not in short wearing condition by then.

4. Dave and I are going to vacation on the Caribbean in September and I want to look decent in a swimsuit.

5. A HUGE promotion may be coming my way in January. I need to represent myself as the young successful woman that I am.

6. I want to look my best for Dave. I feel sexy inside and I should look sexy on the outside.

7. Right now I feel and look frumpy. I have so many cute clothes that don't fit me and there is nothing more frustrating then feeling like I have nothing to wear even though my closet is bursting with new and trendy outfits.

8. I've been fat and I've been reasonably thin. People at work seem to respect me better when I am thin and possess high self confidence.

9. I need to do this for my health. Strokes run on my mother's side of the family. I've seen first hand the devastation that a stroke has on a person. I do not want this to happen to me.

10. I've done this 3 times before and re-gained it all back each time. I am tired of yo-yo'ing. I'm tired of having a complete wardrobe in 3 different sizes. I am tired of fad diets.

Nobody Said it Was Easy, Nobody Said it Would be so Hard

Why didn't anyone tell me it would be this difficult to cook without a stove, oven, kitchen sink, or countertop? When we began the remodel I had all these grand schemes of how I was going to utilize the grill, George Foreman, fondue, and crock pot to make healthy meals each night. What I didn't realize was that the grill and George Foreman get old after the eleventeenth time. The fondue and crockpot require preparation and without a countertop I am forced to cut veggies and meat on my coffee table. (Not too comfortable in case you were wondering.) And to top it all off everything becomes covered in dust during a remodel which forces me to wash everything before and after I use it. There are so many other things I would prefer to do instead of leaning over the bathtub washing dishes twice a night.

So far we haven't resorted to ordering in pizza but we do eat out 3-4 times each week. Much more then our normal once a week. And when I do "cook" at home I usually resort to convenience semi-homemade types of products. Uncle Ben's microwaveable rice and I have become quick friends even though one pouch has over a 1,000 grams of sodium per serving. I try to be low-carb and low-fat but I am ALWAYS low sodium when I cook so this high salt cooking has left me feeling like a salt lick most days.

I've decided to go on a shake fast for the next week or so. This lack of anything healthy to cook has actually made this a really easy decision and I am sure will make it really easy to stick on the fast. I went on a long term fast before my wedding which knocked the weight off me like gang busters. This fast will be much shorter but hopefully gets me on the path towards cute summer shorts and skirts.

Epic

It's 9pm and I am still hungover from drinking too much last night.

Dave and I took a few of his coworkers who were here from out of town out to a super nice restaurant in the Gaslamp. As most legendary nights begin, we had no intention of getting shit face drunk but half way through the appetizer we had already finished two bottles of very expensive wine and were toasting each other for no apparent reason at all. By the time the $100 per plate entrees were served we had decided to make this an all nighter and I had decided to eat as little of my food as possible so that I could continue my buzz. By the end of dinner I was alternating between speaking French and Spanish to two of his coworkers seated next to me. Things get a little hazy from here so who knows what I was actually telling them. Even sober I have to focus very hard to speak fluent Spanish and basic French. When I'm drunk who knows what could have been coming out my mouth. I'm not capable of much at that stage. Knowing me my Spanish probably consisted of "Quiero Taco Bell?" and my French was probably "Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir". By the first bar I had spilled my tanquerey and tonic on my lap and it looked like I had peed my pants. Either that or I actually did pee my pants. When I am as wasted as I was last night anything is possible. Walking to a second bar we saw the Jabbawockeez who live in San Diego. We mobbed them and took several photos before stumbling down the street to our intended destination.

I would ask my husband to clarify but he was unfortunately the sober driver and none too pleased with our drunken shenanigans. He especially wasn't pleased when his coworkers begged him to go home and leave me to have fun with them. They even offered to let me stay in their hotel rooms (they were all male) and then send me home in the morning via taxi. Needless to say, soon after hubby decided to take them back to the hotel and me back to our home. After making stumbling sexual advances (I was a mess and must have looked like that scene from SuperBad) Dave tucked me in bed and I promptly passed out. O, what a night.

California is SOOOOO Weird

Growing up in Southern California it seems as if everyone has a family member who works in The Industry (aka Hollywood). Either you know someone who actually works in The Industry (gaffers, PAs, etc) or you know someone who is striving to be in The Industry (usually writers, directors, and actors). Myself being a 4th generation Southern Californian (wrap your head around that one) have several members in The Industry. Two of my cousins are models (although print models since we are all shorties on this side of the family). One of those cousins just got married in Las Vegas. This particular cousin was once one of the many girlfriends of a famous man who founded a famous magazine. (Don't want to type his name in case it gets googled). A few of his current girlfriends were bridesmaids in her Sin City wedding and the whole che bang will probably air on an upcoming episode of the girlfriend's tv show on E!. All in all it was a perfect Hollywood wedding for my cousin and I am really happy that she has finally found love. I'm also really happy that I was able to get the inside scoop on everything going on inside the Mansion and a few things going on outside the Mansion.

Side note: My cousin is much MUCH older then she looks in pictures. In fact just add 10 years to whatever age you are guessing she is and that is probably still under her actual age. Bottom line she looks 10x more faboo then me so regardless of her age she is still a gorgeous bitch. Anyways, during her many years of singledom she has brought many boys to family functions for us to meet and I have had to endure the zany, weird, and altogether disgusting. I am sooooo thankful that she finally found one who seems sweet, nice and is really interesting to talk to over dinner.

Goodbye Kitchen!

Do you ever have those "oh sh*t! moments"? Sunday morning Dave and I were sitting on the couch reading the paper. After 5 days off from work (3 days plus weekend) I was looking forward to my final day off from work relaxing on the couch and catching up on tivo'd shows. So I'm reading the Sunday paper when I look up at our kitchen and realize with sudden clarity that the demo of our kitchen is set to begin on Tuesday and we haven't done anything to prepare. Instead of the relaxing Sunday I was looking forward to, I spent it boxing everything in the cabinets and trying to decide what could be packed for the next 4-6 weeks and what we would absolutely need. I then tried to create a makeshift kitchen in our dining room that would allow us to make dinner every night without the use of an oven, stove, kitchen sink or dishwasher. Dave and I cook at home quite often and we both knew that 30 days of take out would leave us feeling salty and rather unhealthy. We'll see though. Last night we tried to cook using our limited kitchen and it was such a huge inconvenience that we might just give up and not bother with the juggling act that is required to make a meal and subsequent washing of dishes in the courtyard using a bucket and garden hose.

Goodbye Kitchen. Even though you were completely outdated, a huge part of me will miss you especially over these next 6 weeks.



This wall is coming down so that the kitchen opens up to the living room.

Our makeshift kitchen.

Demolition begins.

There are a million ways I could write this update. I could talk about how my birthday was last week and since Dave was out of town on a business trip, my best friend flew down from Portland to spend 4 days with me. Although she graduated from college with a degree in communications she has had trouble finding a job in the rural area of Portland that she lives so we made our 4 days together a practice in frugality. We ate dinner one night using a gift card that I had been given for Christmas. Packed our lunch and ate it while sunning ourselves and reading library books on the beach. Ate dinner on my actual birthday for almost free. We went to several nice restaurants, sat at the bar, and told anyone who talked to us that it was my birthday which resulted in several free drinks and appetizers. By the end of the night we were both drunk and full off good food. And Dave being the wonder husband that he is gave me a gift certificate for a message at a day spa in La Jolla. The part that makes him a wonder husband is that on the gift card he also included enough money for a one-hour massage for my best friend. All in all it was a beautifully sunny, wonderful weekend that resulted in me missing her like crazy when it was time to drive her to the airport. Good friends make me happy.

I could also tell you how I ended up at the San Diego airport 5 times in 6 days. Once to fly to Sacramento for a last minute meeting. Next day to fly back and drive home. Third day to pick up my best friend from the airport. Fifth day to pick up Dave from the airport. And the 6th day to drive my best friend back to the airport so she could fly home.

Lastly I could tell you about the little cafe on the beach we ate at for breakfast two days in a row. The food was incredibly good and also incredibly cheap. By the end of the first day we couldn't stop talking about the poached eggs we had for breakfast earlier and so decided to go back again the next day and spend a leisurely morning sitting in the sun with the beach wind on our face. Unfortunately, we happened to be the two ugliest and fattest people in the whole restaurant which seems to happen quite a lot in San Diego. Somehow, someway San Diego is filled with gorgeous people who are tall, gorgeous, and toned (even if they have 2 or 3 kids). How they achieve this is beyond me since I know I spend countless hours each week at the gym, watch what I eat, and spend hundreds of dollars each month getting my hair cut, eyebrows shaped, body parts waxed, and nails done. I would conservatively estimate that I am better looking than 50% of the population across the Nation and my best friend is better looking then 70% of the Nation. Yet here we were in a little cafe on the beach, looking like the ugly step sisters in the corner after impossibly thin blond after impossibly thin blond walked past our table. It was almost enough to send me on a carb free diet in an attempt to lose weight. Word to the wise, if you're ever in search of a date then don't come to San Diego unless you look like Heidi and Lauren from The Hills.