Imelda the Horrible SUCKS (and she has shoulders like a linebacker)

I'm in such a blah mood today. I have so much work to do and I don't want to do any of it. I want to be at home watching some sappy love story with a bottle of wine. Blah.

I feel much better after talking with Dave about the TMI dilemma but it's still eating away at me. Part of me wants to badger the subject to death (as women often love to do) but the other part of me knows that I just need to accept his apology, hope he never does it again, and laugh about the whole thing. Blah.

I want to have a nice girly weekend with my sorority sisters. I don't know if it was Way Back Wednesday's theme or if I just need some good girly fun but lately, I'm missing those girls like something fierce. Blah.

I want to find a jeweler and design my ring but I have this fear that I'm moving too fast cuz it's not like Dave and I have set a timeline. Part of me doesn't want a timeline cuz this is supposed to be something fun but the other part of me needs a timeline so I don't feel like I'm doing something wrong and planning when he isn’t expecting me to plan. Blah.

Not helping my whole blah mood is that we played Imelda the Horrible's team in softball last night and we LOST. Horribly. We've played them several times before and have beaten them easily but I'm not sure what happened this time. They got lucky? We didn't play up to par? We got cocky? They became a better team? Not sure. All I know is that they beat us 5-1, made few errors, and hit some awesome balls while we made tons of errors in the infield and hit every ball directly into their mitts. It really didn't help that Imelda was one chatty lil b*tch who didn't keep her mouth shut. Words can't even help me explain what she was doing to make me so angry through out the game. Just believe me when I say that she was a big ol' b*tch and that I hate her more then ever now. Stupid b*tch.

Way Back Wednesday!!!

AHHHH!!! Sorority life!!! Some of my favorite memories EVER are comprised of my experiences in a sorority. I don't think people understand the hard work, dedication, and team spirit that is required to be a succesful, happy sorority sister. Unfortunately, most of the pics I have of me being drunk with my sorority sisters are in my photo album and our scanner is not set up yet. I may have to bug Dave to get it set up asap cuz I have some GREAT pictures! Hehe ;-D I also have a picture of Dave smothered with red paint running through his fraternity house while in college that I would love to share with you all. HAHA!

This picture was taken at an official sorority event that we held each year to welcome the incoming pledges. We'd all get dressed up in the hokiest outfits we could find then go bowling for a fun sober evening (no alcohol at official sorority functions!). Afterwards we'd all go to the fraternity houses and drink with the boys. LtoR: Gina, Me, Jayme, Britney & Marci.

This picture was taken on a trip a few of us girls took to Vancouver BC celebrate Britney's 19th bday and partake in fun legal Canadian activities. LtoR: Jayme, Marci, Gina, Me & Britney. As you can tell, I was very close with the same 4 girls in my sorority. I loved most of the other girls and hung out with them too but I didn't have the same connection. Jayme is getting married next June. She's a kept woman. Marci lives in San Diego and works for a airline. Gina is a winemaker in Napa during the fall and New Zealand during the Spring. And Britney is still in school for the next year or more. She's a lil slower then the rest of us ;-p

Things That Make Me Happy (TMI Update)

Thanks to April who informed me of www.antiquejewelrymall.com. I've found so many cute rings that are UNIQUE and pretty and honestly I've never been into the 'antique' look but these rings I love. I might just explode from all the giddiness I get from looking at rings I actually like. The only bad thing is that I am hesitant to buy a ring on-line before physically trying it on. My hands are so small and sometimes rings that look great in print look horrible on my hands.

Dave and I were talking about the whole ring situation since I'm having such a hard time finding anything that I like. He's still dead set against coming to the jeweler with me since he really wants the ring he chooses to be a surprise to me when he proposes. At the same time he realizes that the ring needs to be something that I like since I'll be wearing it on my hand for the rest of my life. His creative solution is to have me go to a local boutique jeweler and talk with someone who will help me discover what I really like and don't like (aka give me more assistance then the sales lady at Zales). Then Dave wants to go to the same jeweler, find out my preferences, and design a custom ring. I really like this idea and it'll probably be what we end up doing. Now, our only problem is finding a reputable local jeweler who will give me the time and assistance that we will need. There are so many jewelers in the Bay Area and I'm not sure how to find the best one.

In other news that makes me happy, I talked with Dave about yesterday's TMI dilemma. I decided to talk to him since it was continuing to bother me and I didn't want this to escalate into a bigger situation later down the road. I have a good friend named BJ whose live-in bf has a bad habit of looking at naughty things even though BJ has had many arguments with him about how she disapproves of ALL naughty things. After each argument, BJ demands that all naughty things cease and desist, the bf agrees, then a couple weeks pass and BJ finds naughty magazines under their bed, naughty DVDs under their couch, or naughty urls in the history of their computer. For the last year, BJ and her bf have been having the same argument repeatedly and BJ isn't sure what to do since in every other aspect the bf is perfect. Ahhh! Isn't life fun!

So last night, Dave and I were laying in bed and my head was on his chest. I very gently told him that I had seen what he was doing after I got out of the shower and that I wasn't mad about what he was doing but my feelings were VERY hurt that he chose what was on the computer screen over me. He reassured me that he loves me very much and that he was sorry that my feelings were hurt. The conversation wasn't long but I felt like I made my point and I felt like Dave understood why I was upset.

Last night while Dave was playing a baseball game, I looked at his computer history even though I know it was a total breach of his privacy and I'm a bit ashamed of myself. But it was killing me to not know what Dave was looking at on the computer. Was it something seriously kinky that he's afraid to try with me? Was it 500 pound women? 500 pound men? I felt like I needed to know to put my mind to rest. Luckily, it ended up being some pretty generic naughty stuff like woman on woman, women with big basketball chests, and bjs galore. Nothing that worried me and honestly I kinda liked some of what I saw ;-)

TMI. I Warned You!

My good friend Tammy wanted me to update my blog but unfortunately I have a bit of a TMI situation that is weighing on my thoughts. I really don't feel like blogging about another subject or about my relatively relaxing weekend. I don't feel like pretending the TMI situation doesn't exist because it does and I keep thinking about it EVERY 5 minutes. I feel like being brutally honest about it because I'm not sure whether I should be angry, sad, or embarrassed and I feel like blogging will help me deal with what I am feeling.

So here we go: I came home last night after working out at the gym. I sat down for a few minutes, talked with Dave and then jumped in the shower. 15 minutes later my shower was done and I was hot from all the steam so instead of getting dressed in my pjs or brushing my wet hair (like I usually do immediately after a shower), I decided to walk into the living room in my towel and watch TV with Dave while I cooled off. So I walk out of the bathroom and notice that the TV is silent which is weird cuz Dave was watching the SF Giants baseball game. I walk into the living room and I'm quiet cuz there wasn't a reason to be loud and my bare feet weren't making much of a noise on the carpet. I walk up behind Dave and notice that he's looking at his laptop and his arm is doing something weird. Then all of a sudden I realize that Dave is looking at something naughty on the computer and doing that naughty thing that men do when they're looking at naughty things on the computer! And I don't know how to react cuz I didn't expect to catch Dave in the predicament that I caught him in so I slowly backed out of the room and tip toed back down the hall and tried my best to evaluate the situation.

Unlike most women, I'm OK with the idea of Dave looking at naughty things whether it be on the internet, in a magazine, or on a DVD. I'll even admit that I think the naughty things are pretty darn arrousing. And unlike most women, I'm OK with Dave doing that naughty thing that men do even though I've never seen him do that thing until yesterday. What I'm NOT OK with is that Dave was doing that naughty thing that he was doing when I was just down the hall. Naked. Wet. In the Shower! If he was feeling arroused then why didn't he just hop in the shower with me? Why didn't he just WAIT the f'ng 10 minutes for me to be out of the shower and then have his way with me? Why was the naughty thing that he was looking at on the computer better then being with ME??? Errrr!

(Note - Unfortunately, I didn't see what naughty thing on the computer Dave was looking at. I was too surprised to get a good glance and Dave's back was blocking most of the screen.)

So here's where I need advice (and please give me advice cuz I feel totaly alone and confused). How would YOU have reacted in this situation? I never said anything to Dave about it but I'm sure he could tell that something was bothering me cuz I was a bit moody all evening. Would you have said something to your significant other? What would you say? If it's still bothering me should I bring it up tonight and talk to him about it? Should I just ignore the situation?

I Will Follow You Into the Dark

You and me have seen everything to see
From Bangkok to Calgary
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down
The time for sleep is now
It's nothing to cry about
Cause we'll hold each other soon
The blackest of rooms

If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

I am LOVING the new Death Cab for Cutie CD. Check it out. I think it's awesome but then again I always love me some whiney-boy-with-guitars-indie-rock.

I'm also loving Rhapsody. They have every song or album that you could want to listen to and it's pretty cheap. It's nice to be able to hear the entire album several times before buying it. I thought I would love the new White Stripes CD (everyone was raving about it) but I listened to it on Rhapsody and thought it was decent but not something I would really want to spend my money on. Best of all is that you only need one membership and then you can load it on several computers. Dave pays for the membership and uses it on his computer and I use it on my computer too. I can see his playlists and he can see mine but they're separate and unique.

25 vs. 30

Dave: Ahhhh. That nap I took on Sunday afternoon was so great.

Me: Really? It looked kinda uncomfortable. You were sleeping sideways across the bed and the blanket wasn't covering you all the way.

D: Yeah. That's what I liked so much about the nap. I was sleeping sideways and it felt kinda ... naughty.

Me: I find it enjoyable to feel naughty during sex. You find it enjoyable to feel naughty while sleeping. SLEEPING! There's something wrong with that.

D: What a person finds enjoyable at 25 is different then what a person finds enjoyable at 30.

Me: I wish I had known you when you were 25.

I Used To Be So Hot! *sigh*

Joining in with Rosalie and Jen's fun. Here I am way back when I used to be HOT!


Can you see the flat stomach and thin little arms???


Summer 2004: When I Had to Beat The Boys Back With Sticks Cuz I Was So Hot.

1 year later
1 excellent boyfriend who treats me like a princess
20 pounds gained

*sigh*

PS - Most of my pictures from Summer 2004 are drunk, party pics. Good times.

I Thought This Was Supposed to be Fun and EASY

I did some minor ring shopping this weekend since I had some shopping to do at the mall and the rings were calling my name. I really expected to find a ring I loved immediately but unfortunately because I have such small fingers (size 5) I've found it harder then I ever imagined to even find a ring that looks good on me. So far all the rings I've seen have fallen into three categories:
1) Rings I don't like or are just gawd awful ugly.
2) Rings that I LOVE but look horrible on my hand cuz my fingers are too small or the diamonds are too big. All the pave rings have fallen into this category so far.
3) Rings that I love AND look good on my hand BUT look just like engagement rings that my friends have recieved. Stupid friends.

The Presidio

For a couple days last week, I attended a conference at The Presidio in San Francisco. The city traffic was a BITCH (they're retrofitting a bridge for earthquakes) but well worth it to get to see The Presidio. The Presidio is an old military base located at the base of the Golden Gate Bridge (click here to learn the full history). Gorgeous views, magnificent buildings, and lots of history. My meeting was held in The Officer's Club and I couldn't help but fantasize about what it would look like to hold a wedding there. So pretty. If you ever get the chance to visit SF, make sure you check out The Presidio.

My Children Have New Names

I've recently fallen in love with 2 new baby names for any future-children that Dave and I might spawn. For a boy Jackson David. Jackson in honor of my Dad (Jack) and David as a middle name cuz Dave's middle name is his father's name. Get that? For a girl I still love the name Emily Grace but I also love Denica Lee. Denica is the name of my favorite bakery in town (I feel fat. I'm naming my future children after my favorite bakery ;-) We could call her Deni for short and Lee is a middle name that all the women in my family have carried for generations.

On to other news, Dave and I talked about the whole engagement issue even more. My new task is to find rings I like and bookmark them on Dave's computer. How romantic! *sarcasm*

I'm really not as excited by this as I thought I would be. Part of it is because I know that Dave wont be ready to ask me to marry him for AT LEAST another 3 months because I know Dave and I know that he needs time to make sure that we're/he's ready for marriage. In reality, it'll probably happen sometime 6 months to a year from now. In the meantime I am going to look for a ring that I like since I don't really know what will look good on my finger. I hope to find a ring and then wait a month to see if it's THE ring and I still love it just as much as I did a month ago. My tastes in rings change so often. Lately, I've been loving pave rings but like I said my tastes change so often so who knows what I'll love next week.

Disappointed in Myself

I'm so disappointed in myself. Yesterday morning we had a big meeting so I picked up some super yummy and delicious pastries from a tiny local bakery for the people attending the meeting to eat. Guess who ended up eating waaaay TOO many croissants, muffins, and bearclaws? Me. Big-fat-trying-to-lose-weight-but-no-wonder-I-cant ME. Blech. I feel so fat today. I should have had self control yesterday. I should have never touched the pastries cuz I know me and I know that once I start eating something sweet and yummy that I can't stop. Yuck. (BTW - The big meeting was coordinated and lead by me. Everyone says that I did a super good job. Yay.)

I'm also disappointed in myself for the way I reacted for something Dave did last night. Yesterday he had a baseball game. Usually, I'm the only girlfriend/wife who attends so I sit in the stands by myself and watch him while reading my book. The games are fun to cheer for and I honestly enjoy the fact that Dave always insists that I attend even though none of the other boys even want their girls within 10 miles of the ballpark. But yesterday was a bit cold (*GASP* it was 65 and windy!!) so I stayed home and watched a chick flick while he went and played. Around 8pm he called and said that a few of the boys would be going out to a sports bar for drinks. He asked me if I wanted to meet them at the bar but I said no since I was in my pjs and my hair was a giant frizz ball. He said that he would just drink one beer and then he'd be home so I expected him to return by 9pm. Well 9:30 rolls around and Dave's not home yet. I'm LIVID and I'm not even sure why. He never goes out by himself and the one time he does and comes home just a bit later then expected I get upset? I suck. So I keep trying to calm myself down but I can't. He's late and I'm upset. So Dave comes home at 9:45pm and I try my best to not act as upset as I am. But I suck at acting so Dave knows that I'm a little bummed that he came home late. Of course, Dave being the 'perfect boyfriend ever created' cuddles me while smothering me with kisses and telling me all the things I need to here. Today, I'm no longer upset that Dave came home late but I am upset with myself for reacting the way I did. I need to learn to control my emotions.

The Perfect Weekend

I blame the chocolate candies. I blame them as the reason that on Fridy night, I tried on my gorgeous, navy blue with sparkley stuff, evening gown and discovered that it did not fit. Dave (being the perfect boyfriend that he is) attempted to yank, shove, and manhandle me into the dress until we both gave up and I made an emergency run to Macy's to find a replacement. I was super irritated at myself for not fitting in the dress thus I did what every reasonable woman does: I took my wrath out on every person in my direct line of vision. Poor Dave took my bitchy attitude like a champ. He sure is a great guy ;-) So ... one hour later I found a semi-cute 3/4 length black dress that wasn't quite as formal as I would have preferred but it fit and it was on clearance for $50. Score.

On Saturday morning I woke up, skipped my normal yoga session and instead went to get my hair done. Long story short, I originally was going to have my hair styled but because we were attending a brunch on Sunday I decided it would be easier to just wear my hair down on Saturday night so that I could wake up on Sunday and put my hair in a sleek ponytail. Instead of canceling my hair appointment I used the stylist to wash and straighten my hair. Not a super hard job since my naturally wavy hair goes straight fairly easy. Total time spent at the hair salon: 25 minutes. Total cost: $55 plus tip. Does anyone else think that was excessively expensive???

The charity gala began at 6pm with a cocktail hour. Ummm … WOW is all I can say. Not only did we receive all the free champagne, mixed drinks, wine and beer that we could drink (and believe me we took full advantage of the bar) but there was an enormous spread of SUSHI, dim sum, lamb chops and other fancy food as hor derves. YUM ;-9 After the cocktail hour, we were ushered into the banquet room for dinner. I felt like the best little corporate wife ever as I knew everyone and their spouses sitting at our table, had some intelligent and witty conversations, and made sure to use my best manners through out the evening. The evening and the entertainment were excellent as they usually are during most of the charity events we attend. After dinner several of us headed up to the bar located on the top floor of the hotel. We’ve been up there before but I can’t help but be amazed at the view of the San Francisco skyline each time we go there. Several drinks later we all jumped into a cab and went to some random dance club. Things got a little hazy for me here since by this time I had been drinking for 6 hours straight. Dave and I stayed for a few songs and then decided to go back to the hotel.

OK So if you only read one paragraph of this post, READ THIS ONE! Dave and I get back to the hotel and have some amazing sex (TMI I’m sure, but holy cow that was some damn good news worthy sex). As I’ve said on my blog several times I want to marry Dave. He’s such a great guy and I love him so much plus for some reason I have this feeling in my gut that Dave is the ONE for me. You might be surprised to know that I’ve done a really good job about keeping my desire to get married away from Dave. I want Dave to marry me on his own terms because HE is ready not because he’s tired of hearing me nag him about the issue. So … we’re laying in bed after sex, and I blurt out to Dave that I want to get married. Dave asked me why I wanted to get married and I told him it was because it felt right. We talked about it for a few minutes more and then we both passed out since by that time it was 2 am and we were both semi-drunk.

On Sunday morning, I thought that maybe Dave had forgotten about the conversation so I asked him on the BART ride home if what I said the night before scared him. He told me no, kissed me on my neck, and then pulled me into his arms to cuddle. THEN, when we were driving home from the BART station (a short 5 minute drive), Dave was talking about the mini-cooper he wants to buy as a fun car. I was making fun of the car cuz how can you not make fun of the mini-cooper and the fact that Dave is 6 foot tall and wont fit in the car??? So I’m laughing at the jokes I’m making and Dave looks at me and says ‘Fine. The engagement ring that I was going to buy you just got turned into a mini-cooper!’ Hmmm …..

PS - Dave and I were invited to the exclusive brunch on Sunday that benefited the charity. It was quite an honor to get invited and even more of a treat to experience the brunch. Sunday brunch at the CityScape Restaurant was EXCELLENT. If you are ever in San Francisco and want to do an elegant, delicious, and romantic brunch then I highly recommend CityScape. Champagne, omelets, caviar, muffins, deserts galore! I can’t even describe how good the food was. And the views were spectacular. *DROOL*

Hurricane Hell

I was going to write this post about a charity brunch that Dave and I will be attending on Sunday and how I don't have the perfect outfit.

But then I read this nurses' account of her experiences during Hurricane Katrina. Please read it and the 4 updates she has on her live journal. Wow. Really puts things in perspective. Now more then ever, I really want to go help out with the hurricane relief efforts but honestly I'm scared. Scared of missing Dave, scared of missing my bed, scared to have my entire little day turned around, scared of what I might see. I feel so selfish right now.

Politics, Sex & Chocolate

1) I love me some Surburban Bliss when she writes posts like these.

2) This morning I was getting ready for work and the boy was still in bed sleeping. With his long limbs, blue eyes, and blond hair he's just so hot. How in the world did I get so lucky to find such a cutie???? I hope that I'm always as attracted to him as I have been for the last year. I love that boy so much. It's moments like this morning when I can't believe that he loves me. He lives with ME! He voluntarily sleeps in the same bed as ME!!! I'm the luckiest girl ever! It's moments like this morning when I just want to bang him on the head and drag him to the courthouse so that we can get married. MARRY ME DAMMIT! MARRY ME! Ok must calm down ...

3) This weekend Dave and I will be in the City for the charity event we have on Saturday night.
The bad news is that I don't 'exactly' fit into my dress but I'm hoping that by the end of this week I magically shrink. Bleh.... I might be doing some drastic formal wear shopping on Friday night.
The good news is that there will be a chocolate festival in Ghirardelli Square on Sunday. WOO HOO!

Hmmm ...

The federal goverment agency that I work for has just offered to send me to the Gulf Coast to assist FEMA (Federal Emergency Management Agency) in Hurricane Katrina recovery efforts. Fed govt would pay my travel and housing costs.

Holy Cow. I'm SOOO tempted to go. I'd probably be gone for a month, work sun up to sun down, and see things that will haunt me for the rest of my life but it would all be so worth it.

Hmmm ...

Happiness

Last weekend, Dave and I took a day trip to a little seaside town near us called Half Moon Bay. Half Moon Bay is just as beautiful as Carmel or Monterey but a lot less ritzy then those towns and less crowded than Santa Cruz. It was really great to have a day to spend playing on the beach, watching the surfers, and eating good food. I decided that if ever have a wedding and just happen to have $225 per person (doesn't include facility fee) laying around that I would love to have my wedding at the Ritz Carlton in Half Moon Bay. Gorgeous.

Today, Dave and I are spending the day with his parents in San Francisco. We plan on playing around Fisherman's Wharf for awhile and then eating dinner at Espetus (a brazillian steakhouse). Should be a fun time ;-)

Best Boy Ever!

The boy and I went out to dinner tonight. Sitting across from us were a group of chatty high school girls. One girl had a super flashy Coach purse. We live in a super ritzy bay area town. Teens driving Mercedes is not uncommon.

Dave: Why does a teenager need a $600 purse? Why does anyone need a $600 purse???

Me: Ummm... My plans for tomorrow were to get a pedicure and then pick out a cute Louis Vuitton purse since I've been wanting one for awhile.

Dave: Oh. Seriously?

Me: Yeah. Seriously. But I might change my mind. I just got my hair done ($150) and I just bought a new computer ($1500) and I just bought 3 new formals today for the upcoming charity events that we'll be attending ($500). I can afford the new purse but maybe I should be be careful and save my money. Plus, I have tons of cute purses and I really don't need a new one.

Dave: What made you want the Louis?

Me: I was walking through the shops downtown with a friend and I saw the new fall line in the window. They've got some super cute purses!

Dave: (throws cash at me) For your purse fund. Go get the purse! ;-D

Life is good.