My work has done a great job of recognizing all the long hours I put in after the October fires. Left and right I've received tons of official and non-official pats on the back from all levels. I'm appreciative of the praise especially since I did work 12-14 hour days for 4 months straight but I must admit I'm not one for the limelight and sometimes like to do the dirty work from the shadows. A month ago my picture went up on the front of my agency's website as an employee profile. I wasn't a fan of the picture but I had no one to blame since several times I was asked by the PR peeps to pick out a picture but refused because I didn't want to be all high maintenance and request a pro looking action shot of me doing my job (which I have several). That's the bad part of me being the "it" girl of the moment (which I realize that this is my 15 min of fame and it wont last much longer). Everyone at work has known me since I was the 20 year old intern who was reliable but often came to work slightly hungover from the frat party the night before. I don't want my coworkers to think I've forgotten my roots or worse yet to think that I did all the work after the fires by myself. I have a wonderful staff of 12 plus a myriad of coworkers from across the state who came down and spent time away from their families to help me out. Anyways, I try really hard to not be the drama queen in the center of all the attention.
Today a very glossy, very professional looking "magazine" type thing came off production that will be sent to several very big wigs in my agency's National HQ. My picture is plastered across the magazine on about 5 different pages (of the 10 pages total). And in every single photo I look fat. Like really fat. Like WOW. I didn't realize I had gotten that big fat. I could blame it on the PR person who did the layout but in all honestly it's not that the photos are unflattering. I think it's that I really look as bad as the pics portray. This magazine should be something that I cherish but instead it's something that I am really not proud of because of the way I look.
I know that its not really about the photos, it's about the story within the magazine but let's not kid ourselves. That's like saying men subscribe to playboy for the articles and not the hot chicks. The big wigs that receive the magazine are all very busy people and wont have much time to actually read the text. They'll flip through it and be greeted with me looking like a lard-o. I've seen my face on other agency promo material and several times been pleased with how I look. This isn't me just being hard on myself because I don't wear the standard SoCal size 2. This is me being hard on myself because once again I've let my weight get out of control and I'm really embarrassed of the way I look.
Showing posts with label Work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Work. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Monday, June 04, 2007
This is Where I Breath
I'm back from inner city LA and I didn't get shot. Honestly, the students were the most well behaved group of high school students that I have ever seen. A little too well behaved if you ask me. At a few points in my presentation I expected the students to laugh and instead they just sat there with their perfect posture and hands clasped nicely as they sat in their desks. Except for the 2 pregnant girls that I saw, you would have thought that this was the brown colored equivalent of Stepford High School. Surprising to say the least ...
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Dave and I finally had a relaxing weekend. Actually we did a lot but after 10 weekends in a row where we were running around with our heads cut off, we were very appreciative of a weekend where there was a nice balance of stuff to get done and time to relax. We even went for a 3 mile hike on both Saturday and Sunday! 3 miles! David! The man who refuses to exercise! Excuse me while I pick my jaw up off the ground.
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Our photo montage has been completed for awhile (this is the rough draft version). It sure does brighten my mood every time I see it. I love that boy and can't wait to marry him in eleven days!
Something that gives me an Insta-Smile
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Dave and I finally had a relaxing weekend. Actually we did a lot but after 10 weekends in a row where we were running around with our heads cut off, we were very appreciative of a weekend where there was a nice balance of stuff to get done and time to relax. We even went for a 3 mile hike on both Saturday and Sunday! 3 miles! David! The man who refuses to exercise! Excuse me while I pick my jaw up off the ground.
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Our photo montage has been completed for awhile (this is the rough draft version). It sure does brighten my mood every time I see it. I love that boy and can't wait to marry him in eleven days!
Something that gives me an Insta-Smile
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Integral Questions
Tomorrow I'll be attending a career fair for high school students in inner city LA. For the 1st half of the day I'll be giving a short presentation in a classroom as groups of 30 high school students are cycled in and out of the room. The other half of the day I'll be standing at a booth so that students can collect brochures, pamphlets, etc.
OK. So knowing that these are high school students FROM inner city LA, what do I wear???
Option A: Button up shirt with business logo on it and jeans. Is more casual and portrays my agency's true culture. The best part of my work is that I'm not always trapped in my office and I get to wear jeans everyday to work (if I want).
Option B: Cute black & maroon pin stripped capris with maroon dressy tank and black sparkly sandals. Very cute and hip (did I really just say hip?).
Note: Pic A is from a PBS special that I was asked to participate in a few years ago. Pic B is from oldnavy.com. It's not my actual outfit but it gives you a good idea of what outfit B is all about. Except the shoes. The shoes make me want to gag.
Seriously email me and give me your opinion. I'm really stressing out over this decision. But then again, I'm getting married in 2 weeks and it seems like these days everything either stresses me out or makes me cry.
tikiflame at gmail dot com
OK. So knowing that these are high school students FROM inner city LA, what do I wear???
Option A: Button up shirt with business logo on it and jeans. Is more casual and portrays my agency's true culture. The best part of my work is that I'm not always trapped in my office and I get to wear jeans everyday to work (if I want).
Option B: Cute black & maroon pin stripped capris with maroon dressy tank and black sparkly sandals. Very cute and hip (did I really just say hip?).
Note: Pic A is from a PBS special that I was asked to participate in a few years ago. Pic B is from oldnavy.com. It's not my actual outfit but it gives you a good idea of what outfit B is all about. Except the shoes. The shoes make me want to gag.
Seriously email me and give me your opinion. I'm really stressing out over this decision. But then again, I'm getting married in 2 weeks and it seems like these days everything either stresses me out or makes me cry.
tikiflame at gmail dot com
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Disappointment
My bachlorette party was this weekend. Having been in a sorority I can say that I've attended many, many different types of bachlorette parties: Las Vegas, wild nights at clubs, weekend at Disneyland. I've done it all. I've also spent several hundred dollars at each party when you add up travel, drunken transportation, gifts, alcohol, food, lodging, etc. Bachlorette parties are never cheap nights.
I wanted to do something a little different for my bachlorette party so I requested that we do a long weekend of wine tasting in Temecula. To save costs I offered to let all the girls stay at my house. On Friday night everyone arrived and we went to a local brewery that specialized in slow food. On Saturday we woke up super early and went win tasting. On Sunday we chilled and went to the beach and then bar hopping. On Monday everyone went home.
Maybe I had too high of expectations but I can't help but be disappointed by the whole weekend. One of my bridesmaids (BM #2) did nothing but complain about how much money this wedding is costing her. She has never been a bridesmaid before and doesn't realize that most other brides require each BM to purchase shoes, a dress they select, as well as have their hair, makeup, and manicures done on the big day. I've tried to be a sympathetic bride and have given everyone the option of what shoes they want to wear (as long as they are nude color I could care less) and whether or not they want their hair, makeup, and nails done professionally. I even let them collectively decide on a dress that fit their budgets. That and hotel are pretty much the only costs for the wedding. It just really hurts my feelings that BM #2 feels that I'm not worth the money she is spending to be a part of the big day.
BM #1 poorly planned the weekend. Our wine tasting tour began at 9am. Much too early to enjoy drinking. Our 6 hour tasting trip ended at 2pm, just as everyone else began arriving at the wineries. She forgot to make a lunch reservation so we spent over an hour looking for a place to eat at. And she decided to fly and instead of drive down so I was pretty much the only one with a non-compact car the whole weekend. Going to the bars is fun except when you're the bride and need to drive since you're the only one with a car. It especially becomes less fun when everyone forgets cash for parking and then the bride is stuck paying the parking fee plus later getting a parking ticket for returning to the car 15 minutes late.
Maybe I expect too much from people. Maybe I give too much to people and then become upset when they don't give 110% back to me in return. I've always been the friend who pays for dinner (even when money is tight). The friend who plans the parties. The friend who drives way out of their way to be there when needed. The dependable yet fun friend. I've always just assumed that my friends would do the same for me if I ever asked but sadly I'm obviously wrong.
Making my mood worse, I came to work today to be greeted with a letter of resignation from one of my employees. She returned 2 weeks ago from 5 months of paid maternity leave. Over the past 2 weeks she decided that working and being a mom is too much hard work and that she no longer wants to work. This wouldn't be so bad but in 2 weeks I leave for 3 weeks of leave for the wedding and honeymoon. I was really depending on this employee to take up my slack while I was gone. We all knew that while she was gone for 5 months I worked many late nights and weekends to do her job plus mine. I had assumed that she would gladly pick up my slack while I was gone. Sadly I was wrong. Now I'm left without anyone to help me while I am away and to make matters worse her position wont be filled for several weeks since our budget is super tight this year.
*sigh* I'm just so disappointed today. I'm really taking a hard look at myself and how much I allow others to use me. Maybe it's the wedding that is making me more emotionally turbulent then usual but I'm really sad from the events of the last few days. I'm tired of being the constant giver. Maybe I need to become the taker.
I wanted to do something a little different for my bachlorette party so I requested that we do a long weekend of wine tasting in Temecula. To save costs I offered to let all the girls stay at my house. On Friday night everyone arrived and we went to a local brewery that specialized in slow food. On Saturday we woke up super early and went win tasting. On Sunday we chilled and went to the beach and then bar hopping. On Monday everyone went home.
Maybe I had too high of expectations but I can't help but be disappointed by the whole weekend. One of my bridesmaids (BM #2) did nothing but complain about how much money this wedding is costing her. She has never been a bridesmaid before and doesn't realize that most other brides require each BM to purchase shoes, a dress they select, as well as have their hair, makeup, and manicures done on the big day. I've tried to be a sympathetic bride and have given everyone the option of what shoes they want to wear (as long as they are nude color I could care less) and whether or not they want their hair, makeup, and nails done professionally. I even let them collectively decide on a dress that fit their budgets. That and hotel are pretty much the only costs for the wedding. It just really hurts my feelings that BM #2 feels that I'm not worth the money she is spending to be a part of the big day.
BM #1 poorly planned the weekend. Our wine tasting tour began at 9am. Much too early to enjoy drinking. Our 6 hour tasting trip ended at 2pm, just as everyone else began arriving at the wineries. She forgot to make a lunch reservation so we spent over an hour looking for a place to eat at. And she decided to fly and instead of drive down so I was pretty much the only one with a non-compact car the whole weekend. Going to the bars is fun except when you're the bride and need to drive since you're the only one with a car. It especially becomes less fun when everyone forgets cash for parking and then the bride is stuck paying the parking fee plus later getting a parking ticket for returning to the car 15 minutes late.
Maybe I expect too much from people. Maybe I give too much to people and then become upset when they don't give 110% back to me in return. I've always been the friend who pays for dinner (even when money is tight). The friend who plans the parties. The friend who drives way out of their way to be there when needed. The dependable yet fun friend. I've always just assumed that my friends would do the same for me if I ever asked but sadly I'm obviously wrong.
Making my mood worse, I came to work today to be greeted with a letter of resignation from one of my employees. She returned 2 weeks ago from 5 months of paid maternity leave. Over the past 2 weeks she decided that working and being a mom is too much hard work and that she no longer wants to work. This wouldn't be so bad but in 2 weeks I leave for 3 weeks of leave for the wedding and honeymoon. I was really depending on this employee to take up my slack while I was gone. We all knew that while she was gone for 5 months I worked many late nights and weekends to do her job plus mine. I had assumed that she would gladly pick up my slack while I was gone. Sadly I was wrong. Now I'm left without anyone to help me while I am away and to make matters worse her position wont be filled for several weeks since our budget is super tight this year.
*sigh* I'm just so disappointed today. I'm really taking a hard look at myself and how much I allow others to use me. Maybe it's the wedding that is making me more emotionally turbulent then usual but I'm really sad from the events of the last few days. I'm tired of being the constant giver. Maybe I need to become the taker.
Monday, May 07, 2007
Honestly, I'd Rather Not Be There
About 2 years ago, while I was still working in the Bay Area, the house across the street from our office went up in flames. A man (who lived there alone) was making himself a mid day snack of bacon and eggs when he started a small grease fire. By the time he drove down the 1/2 mile driveway the house was completely up in flames. (Our office was located out in the middle of wine country so it was kinda rural). That day I had decided to go home early (for no real reason other then I was bored) so I missed the whole excitement. The next day when I came into work, I looked out my office window and saw the charred skeletal remains of the house.
Six months ago a brand new apartment complex located a few blocks from our office went up in flames. The flames shot up over 100 feet from the 4 story building. The flames and smoke smothered our office. That day I had decided to take the day off work (for a reason I don't even remember). Once again I missed all the excitement.
Today, a woman was driving her car down the street with 3 loose cats in the car. The woman lost control of her car, drove between my building and the tree lined sidewalk, before hitting a tree and then the wall below my office window. The entire office shook with the impact from the car. Five minutes earlier I had decided to grab an iced green tea from the local coffee shop. I wasn't going to get a tea but one of my office mates convinced me at the last minute.
Once again, I missed all the excitement. Coincidence or not???
Six months ago a brand new apartment complex located a few blocks from our office went up in flames. The flames shot up over 100 feet from the 4 story building. The flames and smoke smothered our office. That day I had decided to take the day off work (for a reason I don't even remember). Once again I missed all the excitement.
Today, a woman was driving her car down the street with 3 loose cats in the car. The woman lost control of her car, drove between my building and the tree lined sidewalk, before hitting a tree and then the wall below my office window. The entire office shook with the impact from the car. Five minutes earlier I had decided to grab an iced green tea from the local coffee shop. I wasn't going to get a tea but one of my office mates convinced me at the last minute.
Once again, I missed all the excitement. Coincidence or not???
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