Dream #1 - It was 8:30pm, Dave and I were laying in bed. Dave announces that he needs to go to several stores to get some shopping done. I get upset cuz I don't understand why he didn't do the shopping earlier in the evening or why he can't wait until the weekend. Dave invites me to go shopping with him so I do.
We're driving up 680 and we start to see houses falling down the hillsides. We turn on the radio and hear a newscast saying that due to high temps and then sudden rainstorms the shrink/swell soil is refusing to absorb any water and therefore landslides and flooding are occurring. All of a sudden we turn a corner on the freeway and we're caught up in a flooded area. We get out of the car, Dave takes my hand, and we wade through the water to safety. We're wet and cold but I'm very thankful that I decided to go shopping with Dave cuz otherwise he would have been caught up in the storm by himself.
We walk for sometime until we reach a rescue center that is filled with other people. Dave and I go to the top floor where we see a coworker of mine (J). She wasn't in the flood but she's there anyways. Another coworker of ours (G) had died in the flood (we randomly saw him on the freeway in another car alongside us). I go to tell J that G died and she becomes really upset but refuses to let me hug her or comfort her. My feelings are hurt and I wake up.
Dream #2 - Dave's family and I are camping in he woods. Somehow my mom finds out where we are and comes to the campsite. My mom tries to make friends with everyone and is super fake. I tell her to leave cuz I don't want her there and I don't want people thinking she's a nice person cuz she's not. She leaves but then calls Dave's mom with some type of fake drama. Dave's mom falls for it and goes to 'rescue' my mom (my mom's car had stalled or something like that). I get upset cuz I don't want Dave's mom to fall into my mom's trap but Dave's mom ignores my pleas and goes off anyways. I'm really upset and I repeatedly try to call Dave's mom to try and convince her to come home. Each time she ignores my pleas and I become hysterically upset that Dave's mom is choosing my mom over me. I wake up again.
Dream #3 - Can't remember right now. Maybe I will later.
Friday, December 16, 2005
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Dear Ex-BF
For the first time in a long time I wanted to call you yesterday. I wanted to hear what was going on in your life. I wanted to laugh at your stupid jokes like I used to do when we were together. I wanted to hear what you had planned for the holidays. I wanted to find out if there were any new ladies in your life.
But I didn't call you since you've made it so clear that you have no desire to be friends. It makes me so angry because I really don't know what I did to you to make you so hostile. I didn't cheat on you. I didn't steal money from you. I didn't promise you my future.
This summer I gave you a call in hopes that a year of being apart would have helped you heal and that you would be willing to treat me in a friendly manner. Unfortunately that wasn't true. It really makes me wonder if you ever cared for ME?? Did you ever care for my family? Did you ever care for my friends? Because if you cared for me or my friends/family in any way then you'd WANT to know what we're up to these days. You'd want to know if we're healthy and happy. Or maybe you're just THAT selfish and childish. All you can see is you and your pain.
Sometimes I feel like shaking you until you realize that people break up everyday. Stop feeling sorry for yourself because it really isn't the end of the world. I've never told you this because I know that it would just cause you more pain but I'm the happiest I've ever been in my entire life. I'm more in love with Dave then I ever though it was possible for two human beings to be in love with each other. It sounds so corny but Dave makes me a better person. I didn't like the person I was when I was with you. I really hope that someday you're able to move on and find a woman that will make you a better person and who will be as in love with you as I am with Dave.
I stopped reading your blog a few months ago because I realize that you don't want me to be a part of your life anymore. I'm not going to call you ever again even on the day that I become engaged. And I'm not going to send you any emails. I may not like that we're not friends but I have to respect your decision.
Have a nice life.
But I didn't call you since you've made it so clear that you have no desire to be friends. It makes me so angry because I really don't know what I did to you to make you so hostile. I didn't cheat on you. I didn't steal money from you. I didn't promise you my future.
This summer I gave you a call in hopes that a year of being apart would have helped you heal and that you would be willing to treat me in a friendly manner. Unfortunately that wasn't true. It really makes me wonder if you ever cared for ME?? Did you ever care for my family? Did you ever care for my friends? Because if you cared for me or my friends/family in any way then you'd WANT to know what we're up to these days. You'd want to know if we're healthy and happy. Or maybe you're just THAT selfish and childish. All you can see is you and your pain.
Sometimes I feel like shaking you until you realize that people break up everyday. Stop feeling sorry for yourself because it really isn't the end of the world. I've never told you this because I know that it would just cause you more pain but I'm the happiest I've ever been in my entire life. I'm more in love with Dave then I ever though it was possible for two human beings to be in love with each other. It sounds so corny but Dave makes me a better person. I didn't like the person I was when I was with you. I really hope that someday you're able to move on and find a woman that will make you a better person and who will be as in love with you as I am with Dave.
I stopped reading your blog a few months ago because I realize that you don't want me to be a part of your life anymore. I'm not going to call you ever again even on the day that I become engaged. And I'm not going to send you any emails. I may not like that we're not friends but I have to respect your decision.
Have a nice life.
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