Just Kidding! For some reason this year I have been in a very festive April Fools spirit. Usually, I forget that April 1 is even April Fools Day but this year I feel like being a prankster. Maybe I am regressing and slowly becoming the immature, bratty, drama filled 17 year old that I never was. Who knows.
Last night I did bring up to Dave the "Baby when I am 30" idea. I'm a big believer that one can never plan their life. Too many things happen to spoil even the best laid out plans. I could get pregnant tomorrow unexpectedly. We could have infertility issues. I could reach the age of 30 and freak out and decide to never become a mom. Dave could die. I could die. There is a saying that says "Man Plans, God Laughs" and I firmly believe that. Today is a gift and that is all I can be assured of.
So when I told Dave about the Baby When I am 30 idea, I meant it more as a heads up. Dave doesn't deal well with the whole spring something up on him and he also isn't spontaneous or impulsive (in fact he is the opposite of those two things). I wanted to plant the idea of me becoming pregnant when I turn 30 in his brain now so he can ponder and over-analyze it as is typical of him. Then in 2 years when it actually comes time for me to try and get pregnant it wont be a huge deal. He has two years to get used to the idea (and so do I. Eeek!).
Actually he responded to the whole idea much better then I thought he would have. Two years ago if I had brought this idea up I would have expected him to laugh nervously and then say he didn't want kids (even though during his softy moments he admits that he wants kids but is scared). Last night he still laughed a little nervously but asked why after I turned 30 and I told him it's because I want to be able to visit Napa Wine Country for my 30th birthday and drink it up. Many of Dave's friends are getting their significant others knocked up and I think Dave is seeing the idea of kids as something inevitable. I don't mean it to sound so harsh because I know we would both make awesome parents (we have money, are stable, intelligent, patient, and kind). It's just that for so long we've been on the fence about the baby making issue and sometimes thinking of it as inevitable helps to take away the power of our over-analyzing tendencies. Sometimes I envy those girls who have the "I was always meant to be a mom" mentalities. They never have to deal with this "should we or shouldn't we" see saw.
More then ever this makes me think of all the things I really want to do before having a baby: trip to Europe, camping trip to Gorge to see DMB or Pearl Jam, at least one more trip to Mexico, etc. I'm almost 28 and feel like I've had a lot of years to do the stuff I should want to do but in my head there are so many more things left to accomplish. I better get on it.
