I once knew a boy in college who used to say the above phrase. The way he said it was really funny but then again we were in college and drunk most of the time. Everything was funny. And it helped the funny quotient that I was in love with the boy for most of my senior year of college. We had sex within the first 15 minutes of meeting each other which is not something I tell most people because they assume it was a cheap one night stand and that I was easy. In all honestly what happened wasn’t because I was easy (well I was a bit but it really wasn’t because of that). What happened between us was something that is hard to explain unless you experience it. From the moment we met it was like I had known him my whole life. We locked eyes and time stood still. We couldn’t keep our eyes off each other. It was more then lust it was like our souls could speak in some magical language that neither one of us knew how to understand. Do I think we were soul mates in terms of him being the love of my life? Definitely No. Do I think we were soul mates in terms of being something special that I will never understand? Yes.
We dated casually for the next 2 months. Our relationship was volatile and we were young and I don’t think we were capable of understanding our deep emotions. He would get scared and hurt me and I would hurt him in return. I ended up sleeping with his best friend and fraternity brother on and off for 5 months (I told you I wanted to hurt him). For a while we were a happy, non-sexual, threesome. No one in his fraternity and no one in my sorority knew what to think of us. Oddly enough neither did we and we didn’t try since we all knew in the end it was not to be.
Well that kinda got heavy and I really didn’t mean it to be. That phrase came to my mind since I’ve been busy lately and haven’t had much time to blog. Now here I am trying to sleep and I can’t because all these random blogging thoughts are running through my mind.
Who else can’t sleep? The cat. He’s always been such a good kitten who happily trots off to our bed at 10pm and sleeps peacefully until our alarms go off at 6am. Ever since we got back from our trip this weekend, he has decided that 10pm is the perfect time to begin racing back and forth across the apartment, climb the mini-blinds, and knock pictures off the window sills. He keeps this up until 1 or 2 am. Last night it got so bad that we were unable to sleep and forced to put him on restriction (aka locked in the bathroom). I’m really hoping that he gets over his little attitude problem and returns to being my good kitten.
The wedding we went to this weekend was truly beautiful. It was held in the barrel room of a winery in the Bay Area (the barrel room is where they make the wine). The room was decorated in deep reds and lit with candles. The whole event made me a bit sad. The wedding was so gorgeous that for a second it made me wish that I had chosen a winery as the site of our wedding (wee bit jealous). It also made me a bit bummed when I realized that the couple had been together as long as Dave and I. It could have been us getting married if only David hadn’t waited so long to propose (the other couple got engaged a year before us). It also made me sad because the evening went by so quickly. One minute they were saying I do and the next minute was the last dance. It made me realize that our big day will go by just as quickly. All this planning is for 5 short hours.
It also made me sad to be back in the Bay Area. I’ve lived near LA, in the San Joaquin Valley (think Grapes of Wrath), and near Monterey (think East of Eden). No place has ever felt as much as “home” to me as the East Bay. I miss the people, City of San Francisco, the Bay, BART, Dave’s family, my old office, Dave’s old job, the food, the community, and the friends I made. It pains me to think that I may never have that feeling of “home” again. Part of me wants to run back the first chance we get. The other part of me thinks that I just need to give San Diego more time and perhaps one day it will become my home.
