I remember last June I went to my good friend J's wedding. As I sat there as a guest, I saw J's limo pull up and I immediately became overwhelmingly nervous. Not for myself but for J. I almost started to hyperventilate as I sat there and thought of how nervous I was for J and how that meant that I would be 10x more nervous for myself when my time came to walk down the aisle.
I later asked J is she was nervous and she said not at all. Surprisingly this seems to be the common response I hear from already-been brides when I ask if they were nervous. Each has told me that I would be calm when it was my turn. Since I am a naturally nervous Nelly, I really didn't believe them.
Here we are 9 days before my wedding and I can honestly say that I am not in the least bit nervous. I'm calm. I'm serene. I'm feeling like this whole countdown is a little surreal. But I'm not nervous. Everything so far has felt easy and natural. Sure lately I've cried at things that in the past wouldn't have made me cry but really that's only one of two ways that I have showed stress these past few weeks.
The other way? I've developed Bride's ADD. I'm normally a very focused person and now all of a sudden I can't sit and work on a project for longer then 15 minutes. My work day is entirely unproductive since I'm constantly interrupting myself. My recent work day schedule:
8:00 Arrive
8:05 Look at Personal Email
8:15 Check Work Email. Glance at new messages.
8:20 Decide to Check MSN news
8:25 Bathroom break? ok
8:30 Teleconference
8:35 I have muted the teleconference and am now looking at celebrity gossip on the internet.
8:55 What's in the soda machine? I love diet coke.
9:00 Sit at desk committed to do some work.
9:10 Look at weather on-line. A high of 73 is expected in Yosemite.
9:15 Check work email again. Glance at messages again but don't answer any of them.
9:20 Chat with admin assistant.
... And so goes my day. Luckily, I'll be on vacation for 3 weeks beginning this Friday. I don't have a lot of wedding stuff left to do but it will probably be a good thing that I wont be trapped in my office feeling completely useless.
