My Children Have New Names

I've recently fallen in love with 2 new baby names for any future-children that Dave and I might spawn. For a boy Jackson David. Jackson in honor of my Dad (Jack) and David as a middle name cuz Dave's middle name is his father's name. Get that? For a girl I still love the name Emily Grace but I also love Denica Lee. Denica is the name of my favorite bakery in town (I feel fat. I'm naming my future children after my favorite bakery ;-) We could call her Deni for short and Lee is a middle name that all the women in my family have carried for generations.

On to other news, Dave and I talked about the whole engagement issue even more. My new task is to find rings I like and bookmark them on Dave's computer. How romantic! *sarcasm*

I'm really not as excited by this as I thought I would be. Part of it is because I know that Dave wont be ready to ask me to marry him for AT LEAST another 3 months because I know Dave and I know that he needs time to make sure that we're/he's ready for marriage. In reality, it'll probably happen sometime 6 months to a year from now. In the meantime I am going to look for a ring that I like since I don't really know what will look good on my finger. I hope to find a ring and then wait a month to see if it's THE ring and I still love it just as much as I did a month ago. My tastes in rings change so often. Lately, I've been loving pave rings but like I said my tastes change so often so who knows what I'll love next week.

Disappointed in Myself

I'm so disappointed in myself. Yesterday morning we had a big meeting so I picked up some super yummy and delicious pastries from a tiny local bakery for the people attending the meeting to eat. Guess who ended up eating waaaay TOO many croissants, muffins, and bearclaws? Me. Big-fat-trying-to-lose-weight-but-no-wonder-I-cant ME. Blech. I feel so fat today. I should have had self control yesterday. I should have never touched the pastries cuz I know me and I know that once I start eating something sweet and yummy that I can't stop. Yuck. (BTW - The big meeting was coordinated and lead by me. Everyone says that I did a super good job. Yay.)

I'm also disappointed in myself for the way I reacted for something Dave did last night. Yesterday he had a baseball game. Usually, I'm the only girlfriend/wife who attends so I sit in the stands by myself and watch him while reading my book. The games are fun to cheer for and I honestly enjoy the fact that Dave always insists that I attend even though none of the other boys even want their girls within 10 miles of the ballpark. But yesterday was a bit cold (*GASP* it was 65 and windy!!) so I stayed home and watched a chick flick while he went and played. Around 8pm he called and said that a few of the boys would be going out to a sports bar for drinks. He asked me if I wanted to meet them at the bar but I said no since I was in my pjs and my hair was a giant frizz ball. He said that he would just drink one beer and then he'd be home so I expected him to return by 9pm. Well 9:30 rolls around and Dave's not home yet. I'm LIVID and I'm not even sure why. He never goes out by himself and the one time he does and comes home just a bit later then expected I get upset? I suck. So I keep trying to calm myself down but I can't. He's late and I'm upset. So Dave comes home at 9:45pm and I try my best to not act as upset as I am. But I suck at acting so Dave knows that I'm a little bummed that he came home late. Of course, Dave being the 'perfect boyfriend ever created' cuddles me while smothering me with kisses and telling me all the things I need to here. Today, I'm no longer upset that Dave came home late but I am upset with myself for reacting the way I did. I need to learn to control my emotions.

The Perfect Weekend

I blame the chocolate candies. I blame them as the reason that on Fridy night, I tried on my gorgeous, navy blue with sparkley stuff, evening gown and discovered that it did not fit. Dave (being the perfect boyfriend that he is) attempted to yank, shove, and manhandle me into the dress until we both gave up and I made an emergency run to Macy's to find a replacement. I was super irritated at myself for not fitting in the dress thus I did what every reasonable woman does: I took my wrath out on every person in my direct line of vision. Poor Dave took my bitchy attitude like a champ. He sure is a great guy ;-) So ... one hour later I found a semi-cute 3/4 length black dress that wasn't quite as formal as I would have preferred but it fit and it was on clearance for $50. Score.

On Saturday morning I woke up, skipped my normal yoga session and instead went to get my hair done. Long story short, I originally was going to have my hair styled but because we were attending a brunch on Sunday I decided it would be easier to just wear my hair down on Saturday night so that I could wake up on Sunday and put my hair in a sleek ponytail. Instead of canceling my hair appointment I used the stylist to wash and straighten my hair. Not a super hard job since my naturally wavy hair goes straight fairly easy. Total time spent at the hair salon: 25 minutes. Total cost: $55 plus tip. Does anyone else think that was excessively expensive???

The charity gala began at 6pm with a cocktail hour. Ummm … WOW is all I can say. Not only did we receive all the free champagne, mixed drinks, wine and beer that we could drink (and believe me we took full advantage of the bar) but there was an enormous spread of SUSHI, dim sum, lamb chops and other fancy food as hor derves. YUM ;-9 After the cocktail hour, we were ushered into the banquet room for dinner. I felt like the best little corporate wife ever as I knew everyone and their spouses sitting at our table, had some intelligent and witty conversations, and made sure to use my best manners through out the evening. The evening and the entertainment were excellent as they usually are during most of the charity events we attend. After dinner several of us headed up to the bar located on the top floor of the hotel. We’ve been up there before but I can’t help but be amazed at the view of the San Francisco skyline each time we go there. Several drinks later we all jumped into a cab and went to some random dance club. Things got a little hazy for me here since by this time I had been drinking for 6 hours straight. Dave and I stayed for a few songs and then decided to go back to the hotel.

OK So if you only read one paragraph of this post, READ THIS ONE! Dave and I get back to the hotel and have some amazing sex (TMI I’m sure, but holy cow that was some damn good news worthy sex). As I’ve said on my blog several times I want to marry Dave. He’s such a great guy and I love him so much plus for some reason I have this feeling in my gut that Dave is the ONE for me. You might be surprised to know that I’ve done a really good job about keeping my desire to get married away from Dave. I want Dave to marry me on his own terms because HE is ready not because he’s tired of hearing me nag him about the issue. So … we’re laying in bed after sex, and I blurt out to Dave that I want to get married. Dave asked me why I wanted to get married and I told him it was because it felt right. We talked about it for a few minutes more and then we both passed out since by that time it was 2 am and we were both semi-drunk.

On Sunday morning, I thought that maybe Dave had forgotten about the conversation so I asked him on the BART ride home if what I said the night before scared him. He told me no, kissed me on my neck, and then pulled me into his arms to cuddle. THEN, when we were driving home from the BART station (a short 5 minute drive), Dave was talking about the mini-cooper he wants to buy as a fun car. I was making fun of the car cuz how can you not make fun of the mini-cooper and the fact that Dave is 6 foot tall and wont fit in the car??? So I’m laughing at the jokes I’m making and Dave looks at me and says ‘Fine. The engagement ring that I was going to buy you just got turned into a mini-cooper!’ Hmmm …..

PS - Dave and I were invited to the exclusive brunch on Sunday that benefited the charity. It was quite an honor to get invited and even more of a treat to experience the brunch. Sunday brunch at the CityScape Restaurant was EXCELLENT. If you are ever in San Francisco and want to do an elegant, delicious, and romantic brunch then I highly recommend CityScape. Champagne, omelets, caviar, muffins, deserts galore! I can’t even describe how good the food was. And the views were spectacular. *DROOL*

Hurricane Hell

I was going to write this post about a charity brunch that Dave and I will be attending on Sunday and how I don't have the perfect outfit.

But then I read this nurses' account of her experiences during Hurricane Katrina. Please read it and the 4 updates she has on her live journal. Wow. Really puts things in perspective. Now more then ever, I really want to go help out with the hurricane relief efforts but honestly I'm scared. Scared of missing Dave, scared of missing my bed, scared to have my entire little day turned around, scared of what I might see. I feel so selfish right now.

Politics, Sex & Chocolate

1) I love me some Surburban Bliss when she writes posts like these.

2) This morning I was getting ready for work and the boy was still in bed sleeping. With his long limbs, blue eyes, and blond hair he's just so hot. How in the world did I get so lucky to find such a cutie???? I hope that I'm always as attracted to him as I have been for the last year. I love that boy so much. It's moments like this morning when I can't believe that he loves me. He lives with ME! He voluntarily sleeps in the same bed as ME!!! I'm the luckiest girl ever! It's moments like this morning when I just want to bang him on the head and drag him to the courthouse so that we can get married. MARRY ME DAMMIT! MARRY ME! Ok must calm down ...

3) This weekend Dave and I will be in the City for the charity event we have on Saturday night.
The bad news is that I don't 'exactly' fit into my dress but I'm hoping that by the end of this week I magically shrink. Bleh.... I might be doing some drastic formal wear shopping on Friday night.
The good news is that there will be a chocolate festival in Ghirardelli Square on Sunday. WOO HOO!

Hmmm ...

The federal goverment agency that I work for has just offered to send me to the Gulf Coast to assist FEMA (Federal Emergency Management Agency) in Hurricane Katrina recovery efforts. Fed govt would pay my travel and housing costs.

Holy Cow. I'm SOOO tempted to go. I'd probably be gone for a month, work sun up to sun down, and see things that will haunt me for the rest of my life but it would all be so worth it.

Hmmm ...

Happiness

Last weekend, Dave and I took a day trip to a little seaside town near us called Half Moon Bay. Half Moon Bay is just as beautiful as Carmel or Monterey but a lot less ritzy then those towns and less crowded than Santa Cruz. It was really great to have a day to spend playing on the beach, watching the surfers, and eating good food. I decided that if ever have a wedding and just happen to have $225 per person (doesn't include facility fee) laying around that I would love to have my wedding at the Ritz Carlton in Half Moon Bay. Gorgeous.

Today, Dave and I are spending the day with his parents in San Francisco. We plan on playing around Fisherman's Wharf for awhile and then eating dinner at Espetus (a brazillian steakhouse). Should be a fun time ;-)

Best Boy Ever!

The boy and I went out to dinner tonight. Sitting across from us were a group of chatty high school girls. One girl had a super flashy Coach purse. We live in a super ritzy bay area town. Teens driving Mercedes is not uncommon.

Dave: Why does a teenager need a $600 purse? Why does anyone need a $600 purse???

Me: Ummm... My plans for tomorrow were to get a pedicure and then pick out a cute Louis Vuitton purse since I've been wanting one for awhile.

Dave: Oh. Seriously?

Me: Yeah. Seriously. But I might change my mind. I just got my hair done ($150) and I just bought a new computer ($1500) and I just bought 3 new formals today for the upcoming charity events that we'll be attending ($500). I can afford the new purse but maybe I should be be careful and save my money. Plus, I have tons of cute purses and I really don't need a new one.

Dave: What made you want the Louis?

Me: I was walking through the shops downtown with a friend and I saw the new fall line in the window. They've got some super cute purses!

Dave: (throws cash at me) For your purse fund. Go get the purse! ;-D

Life is good.

Question

Should I tip my MAC girl? If so, how much?

My $1200 Date

Next Saturday, Dave and I are going to a charity gala in San Francisco that will benefit the City of Hope. I'm pretty excited since I LOVE Dave's black tie events, the people we get to see, the food (at the last event there was all you can eat sushi!), getting dressed up and the causes we're able to support. Unfortunately, attending this event means that I'm going to miss an old friend from college's wedding and seeing my good friend Tammy ;-( But attending this event is good for Dave's career since he's in line to become a VP at his Fortune 50 company and that is a HUGE step for our future.

Dave and I were talking last night and he reminded me that after this event we have another black tie event to support his work's foundation in late September then we have a wine tasting night that supports Easter Seals in early October. Holy Cow. I need to do some massive shopping to find some cute dresses! I think I'll be making a trip into the city this weekend to try and find some cute dresses like this (even though that example is not formal enough). I have about 10,000 little black cocktail dresses/evening gowns in my closet so I'm going to try my hardest to find something with color and something that isn't my steorotypical strapless a-line.

Deep Throat

Since Saturday, I've had the raspiest voice to ever come from a woman. It's not even sexy. I sound like a 60 year old smoker with a few squeaks thrown in for good measure. Dave called me squawk box.

I thought my raspy voice was coming from a respiratory infection since I've had a phlegmy throat and low energy. The low energy wasn't helped by the fact that I haven't been able to sleep at night. This sounds disgusting, but I thought that all the phlegm from my throat was draining into my stomach and giving me an upset tummy and nausea all day long. For the past few nights, I've been tossing and turning in bed till 3am because my stomach is so upset that I can't sleep or if I do fall asleep I'm awakened by nausea a short time later. It sucked. I can live with the phlegmy throat and raspy voice. I can't live with feeling like I'm going to be sick 21 out of the 24 hours of the day.

Yesterday, I decided that I wasn't getting any better so I made a doctor's appointment. Surprise, Surprise! I was so completely wrong in my little diagnosis. The doctor informed me that most likely I have acid reflux which is causing my nausea. Stomach acid is traveling up my esophagus and affecting my vocal cords thus the raspy voice. As a result of the acid, my esophagus is producing phlegm to protect itself. The acid reflux is probably being caused by stress which I don't doubt since last week I was a hormonal stress ball (need I remind you). It all makes so much sense now.

So Mad I Wanna Kick Him

Dave: (checking his accounts online) Cool! I have $xxxx already saved in that credit union account I opened a few months ago.

Me: Cool! $xxxx is alot of money. (As I've said before, the bastard has done a good job of saving money in several different bank accounts.)

Dave: What's even cooler is that I have nothing to spend $xxxx on.

Me: Nothing?

Dave: Nothing planned. (Can he please wipe that big innocent smile off his face! Looking at his face I can just tell that he's being honest. He really doesn't have any plans to spend his money on anything really romantic and wonderful. Like an engagement ring. A really BIG engagement ring!!!)

Me: Cool. Nothing. That's wonderful. (SUPER wonderful. BASTARD!)

Pictures!!!

I'm loving my new computer. So pretty. So lightweight. So mine!

Here is Dave and my new apartment complex. I love how the apartments are right on the lakes. I especially love our little backyard patio.

Not long after moving in, Dave and I had a housewarming party. We got lots of towels and other cool gifts. We were excited ;-p Check out ow cute Dave's nephews are: Matthew and Ryan.

In June, Dave and I went to our local county fair to see the livestock and search for deep fried twinkies. I heart that boy ;-)

In July, Dave and I went to Washington DC. We saw all the sights, did some neat stuff, and watched fireworks. I really REALLY love that boy ;-)

In July, A few sorority sisters and I also went wine tasting. I can't believe how romantic and beautiful some of the wineries are.

Goodbye Pretty Car

I posted ads to sell my car today ;-( I'm gonna miss that car ;-( ;-( ;-(

Deep & Scary Stuff

Somedays I just want to be a hermit. Run away to a mountain cabin where I'd feed and cloth myself. No need for money. No need for interaction with society. No people to annoy me. No need to find someone to love me for the rest of my life. No traffic to deal with. Being by myself all day long would make me happy.

Somedays I just want to drive around in my convertible camaro with my Tiffany's necklace, Seven jeans, D&B handbag, perfectly manicured hands, pedicured toes and expensive highlights. On those days I'm proud of my corporate boyfriend, apartment near the city, materialistic clothing and impractical car. Shopping in San Francisco at the 5 story Macy's that is dedicated to women's clothing is what makes me happiest.

And somedays I start to think about how my heart could be broken at any time by Dave. How my Dad could die tomorrow from a heart attack. How I'll never have enough money to buy everything I want. How I'll never be as thin as I want to be. How I want to have babies one day but have no idea how I'll manage a career and parenting without losing myself completely. How hard it is to maintain a happy marriage. How hard it is to go to work each day with people you don't really like. On those days I wonder why we do this thing called living when it's so difficult. Why do we live each day knowing that tomorrow wont be easy and tomorrow's tomorrow WILL bring sorrow eventually. Wouldn't it be easier to just give up and end it all? End the crying? End the bickering? End the tears? End the days of feeling fat? I'm confident that I could never kill myself but I seriously wonder why we endure so much hurt for the few moments of sunshine ...

Good Times They Are The Gold

Sorry I've been busy lately and I've got a terrible case of blogger's block. I'm not the best writer to begin with but lately my writing is neither coherent or interesting. And I have a lot to say too! Please bare with me and this jumbled up blog post that is probably going to suck.


Anniversary Weekend - Have you ever seen a prettier anniversary present??? Last weekend Dave gave me my first piece of Tiffany's jewelry. It was definitely an unexpected surprise. Can my boyfriend be any better??? The rest of the weekend went well. We stayed at a hotel in The City near Union Square. Very pretty room. Very pretty view. I love San Francisco. I love my boyfriend.

DMB at SBC Park - On Saturday night, Dave and I went to night 2 of the DMB concert. Good concert. Our seats were mediocre which made the concert not as enjoyable as it could have been. I gave my night 1 tickets to our friends Ryan and Tamar who were upgraded at the concert by Warehouse to 9th row! Ryan and Tamar don't even like DMB that much! Whatever. We did get a very cool and romantic set list which was nice. Crash, Dream Girl, The Stone, #41, Two Step, Lover Lay Down, Steady as We Go, Warehouse, Dancing Nancies AND Tripping Billies. Dave isn't into DMB but he's such a good sport and came to the concert with me because he knows how much I love the band.

New Computer - I got a new lap top with a very pretty big screen! WOO HOOO!!!! My old desk top died about a month ago so I haven't been able to sync my PDA, upload pictures, or blog from home which sucked. Dave was more then willing to let me use his lap top since he has 2 (work and personal) but I need my privacy so I'm very happy to have my own computer again. And it’s so pretty!!!

Good In Bed

I'm a book whore. Seriously. I admit it. I LOVE books. On average I read a book a week and sometimes I even read 2 books a week. So as you can imagine I come across a lot of different types of books (Thank God for the Library!). Some books are bad and some books are decent. And then there are a few books that I come across that are stellar, excellent, wonderful, thought provoking, etc. Good in Bed by Jennifer Weiner is one of those books. It's the story of a chubby girl and her ex-boyfriend that she still loves. Stuff happens and things occur but I can't tell you about that because then I'd ruin the book for you and it's such a good book that I want you to read it and love it as much as I did. Ahhh!! I want to read it again!!!! I think it might even belong on my top 5 books of all time list. It's that good!

My Favorite 5 Books:
1. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
2. Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
3. The Wedding - Nicholas Sparks
4. Tale of Two Cities - Charles Dickins
5. Good in Bed - Jennifer Weiner

Where the Deer and the Buffalo Play

I'm in Wichita, Kansas this week for a work conference. I'm scheduled to give an hour 15 minute presentation tomorrow to the entire group (about 100 people). Holy cow is all I can say about that.

I leave here on Friday, fly into Oakland, then take BART directly to San Francisco where I'll be meeting Dave at a hotel. We plan on celebrating our anniversary with a nice dinner on Friday then DMB on Saturday. Dave was joking around and made it clear that I wont be getting a ring as my anniversary present. ;-( Of course his comment hurt my feelings but it lead to a nice discussion on us and marriage. Surprisingly, the discussion was mostly lead by me OPENLY, honestly and effortlessly telling Dave how I felt on the whole subject (such a huge step for me since I suck at the whole communication thing). Dave and I agreed that we want to get married because the time is right for us and NOT because all of our friends are doing it. We both want to talk about marriage and wedding plans extensively before becoming engaged which we'll be a bit difficult for Dave since he is able to show how he feels easily but forgets that he needs to say how he feels too. We both agreed that we're at a good time in our lives to get married (financial stability, established careers, educated, mature, etc). And we both agreed that we want to keep each other and that we both hope marriage is in our future together. Ahhhh! I love that boy!

Batter Up!

Last night, Dave and I played in our 1st co-ed softball game of the season. Last night, Dave and I also saw his ex-gf 'Imelda the Horrible' again since she plays on another team in our same division. Wooo ;-/ I'm sure we'll be seeing much more of Imelda as the season progresses and we'll even be playing 2 games against Imelda's team sometime in the future. I must admit that last night Imelda became louder and more annoying as soon as she knew that Dave and I were around but at least she wasn't as bitchy or drunk as last time I saw here. She ignored us and we ignored her. I can live with that.

Refresher: (I really needed to load my archives back into blogger!). Imelda the Horrible is Dave's ex-gf whom he dated for 6 months from Oct 03 to May 04. Last softball season (around October 04) we played a game against Imelda's team. Imelda came to the game PLASTERED drunk! It was my 1st time meeting her. During the game Imelda talked sh*t to me everytime I came to bat (she was catcher) and then as soon as the game was over she immediately ran over to our side of the dugout, tried to be friendly with all of our teammates while hanging all over Dave and talking about things they did when they were together. Dave was a perfect boy, he was nice to Imelda but didn't play into any of her games. I was really proud of how he reacted but not pleased at all with Imelda (to say the least).

On to other news: Last night, Dave and I found out that one of our teammates (and good friend) just got engaged to his girlfriend. Wooo for them. They're a super cute couple so I'm completely happy for them. Unfortunately, I think that makes Dave and me the last unmarried couple in our group ;-( *SIGH* I've come to semi-accept that Dave and I wont be engaged for a very long time to come. I'm thinking that it'll probably be around the 2 year mark or maybe even later. Dave's just not in a hurry like I am (but at least he seems to be ready). Plus, Dave's so preoccupied and stressed with his job that he even admits that he doesn't think of much else but work even when he's trying to relax at home. Last night, Dave came home around 6pm, we ate dinner at his parent's house, went to our softball game at 8pm, then as soon as we came home Dave went back to work til 1:30am. AND He woke up at 5:15am this morning so that he could get back to work and finish up some things before everyone else came in. ;-( *SIGH*

Sorority Girls Gone Wild

I took Monday and Tuesday off for 2 reasons. The first reason was that I wanted to organize our 2nd bedroom closet which had become a trash bin for everything in the house that we didn't know what to do with. I've been meaning to tackle this project ever since we moved. Finally I decided that I was too lazy/busy to accomplish the organizing in one weekend and that I needed to take a few days off of work. So I went to Ikea, bought really cute (and cheap) storage bins and secluded myself in the room along with file folders. Final Outcome: the room is much more organized then it was a few days ago but I'm not completely satisfied ... yet. We still need to replace the current desk with a newer/cuter/more compact desk as well as buy a new matching bookcase.

The second reason I stayed home for 2 days was to re-coop from my crazy wine tasting trip that I took with 10 other sorority sisters. I definetely need more days to re-coop and rest. Those girls wore me out! Highlights of the trip were bringing home a winemaker after meeting him in his tasting room (he stayed til the next morning), making friends with a cop who showed up at the house later in his cop car to see how our night was going, and dancing on the table of a tasting room. If you've never gone wine tasting then let me tell you that USUALLY wine tasting is a very romantic and refined event filled with gorgeous views, snobby wine people, limos, and lots of expensive handbags being carried by the fellow tasters who are ungodly rich. Somehow we turned our classy girl's weekend bonding trip into a drunk and crazy laugh fest. Let me tell you, I wouldn't have had it any other way!

PS ... Best Wine of the Weekend: FroZin by Meeker. It's a truly yummy desert wine that is very unique. One of my favorite wines ever. Please do yourself a favor, buy some online, mix it with vodka to make a FroZini, invite some girls over, and drink your FroZini's while eating a chocolate cake. You'll love it!!! Mmmm!

PPS ... After this weekend, I've decided that if I ever get married, I really want my bachlorette party to consist of a girl's weekend in Napa/Sonoma. Limos, wine tasting and mud baths are my definition of a perfect girl's weekend.